As the third generation offspring of大屠杀幸存者s - 有时被称为3G - 代际创伤的东西随着我的继承包。严重焦虑和抑郁症由于幻想of government-related worst-case scenarios are way too familiar and comfortable for me.
在过去的几年里，我对这个方向感到令人不安的想法country is taking。I feel American politics have smothered its connection to humanity, and, in the process, anger, hate, and violence have been on the rise. For me, this has repeatedly triggered fears that something likethe Holocaust可能再次发生。我已经尽我所能让海湾保持图像 - 将它们视为我典型的偏执狂和神经系列的一部分 - 同时热切希望最好的。然而，这几天，它变得不可能不担心历史重复自己。
我想相信我们无法找到上周的地方tragic day在国会大厦。The idea of another civil war, of Americans turning on each other en masse, of our民主进程成为无能的，都是糟糕的噩梦，即我担心是危险的，因为成为现实。
我的祖父母，Zelig Asher Karpman和Rachel Grinbaum都是大屠杀幸存者。当我只有1岁的时候，我的祖母死于脑病 - 她遭受了频繁的，可怕的头痛，她的一生，并且据信她三年来她遭受了殴打的头部伤害at Auschwitzcaused a brain aneurysm. I was lucky enough to have my grandfather until just after I turned 18. The week of his death I experienced my first severe panic attack, although at the time I didn’t know what was happening to me.
我忍不住想想我的祖父母是如何觉得如果他们上周目睹了国会大厦的活动。他们忍受了这么多，并令人震惊的牺牲留下了以色列的支持性幸存者社区，以便将他们的孩子带到这个国家的希望能够让人更安全。ios下载beplay思考what happened onJan. 6 makes my stomach churn, knowing full well how difficult it was for my grandparents to adjust to life in Queens, where my grandmother couldn’t tolerate the sounds of the subway train. They then moved to Omaha, where it was quieter but where they felt like outsiders — something that stayed with my mother, and then onto my sisters and me.
Growing up, my mom made my grandparents’ stories and talking about the Holocaust a priority. I experienced her as overbearing, too intense, and I wished she could be “normal” like other parents. The dynamic was especially difficult because my grandfather, with whom I was extremely close, never wanted to talk about his experiences; he felt this was the best way not to pass on the damage.
回顾，很明显，这些方法都不对我很健康。与我的条款来说代际创伤不得不是我在自己的时间做的事情。这让我很多，多年来开始了解大屠杀对我的影响的深度 - 这，尽管我在第二次世界大战结束后27年出生在新泽西州的新泽西州。在外面，我的生活看起来很典型，甚至祝福。没有人会看着我，并认为我有一个双极母亲和一个严重生病的妹妹，她的大部分成年生活都会被药物滥用和进出精神病院困扰。无论如何，我认为自己很幸运：我有一个漂亮的丈夫，两个惊人的孩子和一个很棒的狗。我有一个成功的职业和一群可爱的朋友。但是，否认我的斗争是非常困难的，有时瘫痪。
For example, when my son and daughter were little, I’d read them a bedtime story every night. I tried my best to focus on the story — but I’d often find myself wondering what I would do if I had to choose between them, like Meryl Streep’s character inSophie’s Choice。我的心会开始比赛，我不再存在。那是我意识到大屠杀的回声会发现甚至一些生活中的一种方法珍贵的时刻, stealing my joy. It made me so angry that I grew determined to do whatever I could to break the psychological chain of trauma in my family. There was no other way but to confront and learn to cope with my feelings of fear and anxiety, the Holocaust imprints on my everyday life.
克服了创伤的历史是没有人可以独处的。它需要很多耐心，以及理解，帮助和支持。ios下载beplay一旦我开始与之合作治疗师谁专门从事大屠杀家族，我开始愈合。这种治疗师建议我参加了熟堡家族的代际创伤网络研讨会系列。在第一个会议中，我哭了 - 对我来说并不容易。我记得思考，“这些人就像我一样。他们以同样的方式思考......因为我的家人的大屠杀史而是这样。“
I’ve come to recognize that being a第三代大屠杀幸存者既是一个祝福和诅咒。是的,t的能力o be acutely sensitive and attuned to the world’s suffering can be overwhelmingly painful and frightening. But it comes with the awareness and ability to empathize with others, gain understanding of their perspective, and refrain from making judgments too quickly. It’s motivated me to determine if and how I can help, a gift for which I am grateful.
Learning to recognize triggers, and using techniques like breathing, self-care, and meditation, help me to cope with my panic attacks. Still, as a 3G, the state of this country is something I can’t ignore. My professional role as a mental health coordinator for Miami Dade County Public Schools allows me to assist people in getting food and assess and assist with mental health concerns and crises. Throughout the pandemic, I’ve been able to help家庭保持联系to each other and to friends and communities. There are so many vulnerable people in this country who don’t have the most basic needs met, and we must remember that, in essence, we are all the same. We all want to survive, which is something that’s not mutually exclusive. We do not need to oppress others to ensure our way of life.
Last Wednesday’s actions were those of people who feel their rights are being challenged. In our polarized society, I’ve witnessed many people, convinced their side is right and the other is wrong, refuse to consider the bigger picture: namely, that when it comes to保护我们的民主， 我们谁都跑不了。上周抗议如此迅速，危险地升级在国会大厦felt their lives were in danger — in fact, five people died that day. My fears over such loss of life is something I encounter every day due to my intergenerational trauma, which is now compounding and magnifying due to the present circumstances. These days, I am overwhelmed by anxiety, both past and present. And yet, I’m forcing myself to overcome it; by writing this very piece, I hope to raise awareness that it is incumbent upon all of us to strive for a better future.
希望是帮助我通过我最担心的恐惧来帮助我的东西。知道我们有选择，可以在我们每天进行前进的事情产生差异。作为一个国家，我们必须暂停，呼吸，并思考。我们需要以其他观点的方式沟通可以容忍and hear. We need to put our differences aside and listen to each other. Then and only then, can the healing start for this country.
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