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育儿

犹太途径福斯特韧性在您的孩子

在面对不确定性- 这是一个词,肯定描述今天的生活 - 应变能力是我们需要的。

幸运的是,犹太传统强调回弹了几千年。诺亚和他的家人了吧 - 你能存活下来与所有的动物和它们的混乱船的生活?摩西有它 - 那么多的律法的是40年的挑战故事摩西不得不克服。露丝it — she had to deal with devastatinglosses and life作为非法移民,但她始终是积极的。

事实上,在弹性犹太视角 - 出生百年面对各种各样的危机,创伤,persecution, and enslavement — is best captured in this proverb: “I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.”

虽然这件事我们有一个水晶球,我们可以肯定一件事是,我们的孩子们将面临许多在他们的生活困难 - 事实上,他们已经在他们面临with Covid-19,其中许多人也从灾难的痛苦种族主义。我们不能从这些困难保护他们,但我们可以帮助他们掌握的工具反弹在面对挑战。

Here are some Jewish ways to foster resilience in your family.

了解问题

Resilience requires persistence, and it also requires deep understanding. In these particular and unsettling times, make sure that your children understand thebiology of Covid-19到任何程度,他们可以,发育。Wearing masks,勤洗手,保持社会遥远,擦面,等时,他们的理由被理解,成为习惯,而不是做这些事情的影响 - 对自己和自己的亲人,尤其是爷爷奶奶!- 清楚了。另外,关于正在进行的抗议活动支持ios下载beplay黑人的命也是命, make sure your children understand, in developmentally appropriate ways, how African Americans have been poorly treated from colonial times to the present.

了解在这里是关键 - 冲动和急躁是大敌人弹性。所以,花时间来详细解释事情。Explain why you have curfews, why you want your kids to do certain things before other things, like homework before video games, and健康食品before junk food.

Model and encourage plans to overcome obstacles

当温迪·莫热尔写道:剥了皮的膝盖的祝福她知道,让孩子们遇到困难和潜在的故障时,他们是年轻的 - 因此赌注较低 - 将加强他们对青少年和成人生活的更显著的挑战。正如谚语所暗示的,如果我们保护我们的孩子从负担,他们的肩膀永远不会扩大。所以,我们可以帮助我们的孩子发展resilience by respondingto setbacks or challenges in their lives with encouragement and realistic action plans.

Teach children toset goals他们想要什么得到完成on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis; this reinforces that you believe they can accomplish things. You can support them in the process by creating“做”名单,通过交谈如何最好地完成什么是名单上,并进行必要的修改,以保持列表现实。造型你自己的现实运用“做”名单是一个功能强大育儿工具。和自言自语as you encounter unanticipated problems or setbacks. Seeing and hearing you struggle a bit is liberating for kids, who otherwise might shrink from challenges because they worry they won’t be perfect.

是乐观的未来头脑

通过保持一个着眼于未来整个犹太历史,危机是(有点)缄口不言。Jacob, at some level, kept living in the hope of seeing Joseph again; Moses pointed to “the Promised Land” that the Jewish people would eventually reach; time and again, Jewish emigrants left their homes to find a better life in a new land.

在这些时候,我们不必如此遥远和哲学。建立程序创造乐观的时刻的周期值得期待。不太可能,因为它似乎,给你的孩子的责任in the house — especially during Covid restrictions — builds their resilience.设定期望关于保持他们的房间干净参与家庭活动按计划,促进平静感和控制之中的不确定性。

当然,安息日is the ultimate expression of an oasis in time. Even if you have not been in the habit of doing so, make Friday night dinner into something special. How? Be sure每个人都在您的家庭有一定的作用在准备。包括大家都在感激的讨论从过去一周和什么人期待着下周。Set aside screens and phonesfor a specified period of time — for everyone. Soon,星期五晚上will be something that your kids look forward to and will sustain their spirit. (Don’t expect them to admit this, by the way — especially if they are teenagers!)

鼓励幽默

当事情在犹太文本重复,我们知道他们是非常重要的。在Pirkei Avot, a few pages after the verse “Receive each person with a cheerful face,” we are told, “Receive every person with happiness” (Pirkei Avot3:16). Thescience of laughter证明了这是一个令人难以置信的粘接剂,家庭压力的补救措施,和火花继续前进。

使用aidsto帮助增加每日总笑。Have comedy CDs or podcasts in the car, or store some funny tracks on your smartphones and tablets; create a silly family video or watch a humorous video or TV show each week together.请家人分享是什么让他们快乐,然后看这个视频基于法瑞尔·威廉姆斯的歌曲‘幸福’;这样做,这是一个美妙的密友 - 我敢说,而你看你不笑!Identify fun booksand阅读regularly: Dr. Seuss and Mo Willems books for younger kids, stories about Chelm for older kids, knock-knock jokes for everyone.

有弹性约是弹性的

没有单一的或担保的途径向帮助我们的孩子更加适应,但犹太传统给了我们很好的指导,让他们走上正轨。事实是,我们不知道什么时候困难将打击 - 尽管我们可以说他们将被确定。箴言书告诉我们: “A righteous man falls down seven times — and gets up” (Proverbs 24:16). Let’s teach our kids to persist in getting up whenever they fall down, so they will believe that when they下跌 - 因为谁不?- 他们将再次上升。

图像由万亿矢量/ Getty图像

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