有时我站在镜子前说“胖”、“恶心”和“恶心”之类的话，但我必须停止。
No,it's not to protectmy daughter's self-image—I don't have a daughter.是为了保护我。But most importantly,是给我儿子的。
Growing up,I was taught that women should be small,又瘦又瘦；不是因为我妈妈肤浅或虚荣，but because this is what she herself was taught by her family.
When my grandmother called,she sometimes asked,“你的体重怎么样？”我以前认为这很正常，but now I know it's not.Now I know it's one of the reasons I struggle to feel good about the body I have.
我努力的另一个原因是我曾经参加过花样滑冰比赛，a sport in which women should stay small and somewhat childlike.Once,not knowing I was in the bathroom stall,a judge started talking about me to her colleague: "She's good now,but wait until she goes through puberty." So,at age 15,when I did go through puberty,I resented every bit of it.Curves made jumps harder and made me look heavier on the ice.Curves certainly didn't win medals.
These are the kinds of stories most of us have in our pasts—so much so that even as years pass and we come into our own as adults,他们在我们离开他们的标志。
I don't remember the last time my grandma has asked about my weight,and it's been almost 20 years since the skating days.Yet,the feeling that my body is fat,disgusting or gross sometimes persists—especially when I'm tired and emotionally run-down.Most of the time,I think I look strong and fit,but there are those moments in front of the mirror when those not-so-nice words come to mind and mouth.
I know I need to stop with the negative self-talk.It hurts me,and I don't deserve it.No one does.
And ultimately,它会伤害我的儿子。I'm not so much worried that he'll grow up with a body image problem,although he might.
It's that I worry my son will impose a distortion of what a woman should be on the women he knows inhis生活。The comments we hear from our moms and grandmas etch themselves into our consciousness.But so do the times we overhear men—bosses,friends,even dads—talk disparagingly about women's bodies.
As his mom,it's my job to make sure my son doesn't judge a woman's worth based on her body type.我不希望他是另一个试图让女人“小”的白人男性。
Because we know that all this policing of our flesh is not just aboutbeingsmall in the literal sense,but also about keeping women small: less visible,包含较少，价值较低。It all goes hand in hand.
So when I stand in front of the mirror with my toddler by my side,I need to watch my mind and my mouth.
My son's idea of what a woman should be starts with me.
This post is part of theHere.Now系列，which seeks to destigmatize mental health,
and is made possible by尤加联盟纽约andThe Jewish Board.
你可以找到other教育的心理健康资源here.
