我们刚去过奥斯维辛，and I was ovulating.
We had spent the day touring barracks where people — including ourgrandparents— lived in terrible conditions,还有人们最后呼吸的毒气室。在这样一天的情绪和体力消耗之后，我们回到克拉科夫的酒店，and sat there speechless,tears streaming down our faces.
And yet,my husband and I had been trying for a baby,and it was time to do the deed.It seemed incredibly jarring to go from something so horrifying into something so intimate.Auschwitz并不是让你“心情不好”的东西。
我和我丈夫是八个孩子的孙子大屠杀幸存者— six of whom survived Auschwitz.作为幸存者的孙子，我们的童年根深蒂固，帮助定义我们今天的身份。The Holocaust was something we had always heard about,though it was impossible to fully comprehend.The word "Auschwitz" itself carried so much weight.It was the place that many of our family members were murdered,我们祖父母被折磨和挨饿的地方，我们不想去的地方，但觉得我们必须看到。
After years of indecision we finally signed up for the International March of the Living,去波兰了解大屠杀的更多情况，调查偏见的根源，intolerance,and hatred.这次旅行最重要的部分之一是游行——与来自世界各地的数千名犹太人一起——沿着从奥斯维辛一世到约姆哈索的奥斯维辛二世（Birkenau）的三公里道路行进，以色列大屠杀纪念日.
时机有点复杂，because by the time the trip rolled around,my husband and I were actively trying to have a baby.结婚五年后，"When 你要生孩子吗？”已经成为大家第一个问我们的问题。
没人知道我们一直在尝试without success，而且，if I'm being truly honest,I wasn't convinced that we were ready.I think I hadn't fully accepted wanting to get pregnant and my body knew that.I was highly focused on my career as an actor and producer — I thought that getting pregnant and starting a family would derail that.
But on that day in April,当我们visited Auschwitz，something changed.
在奥斯维辛的火车轨道上，I stood exactly where my bubbe's hand was torn from her little sister's,她再也见不到了。Her father had told her that she would be the only one from their family to survive.It was a chilling prophecy,他是对的。
在奥斯维辛的火车轨道上，I stood where my Nana was separated from her mother by an SS Officer.Her mother told her to go,and that they would see each other again soon… but that was the last time she saw her mother.
在奥斯维辛的火车轨道上，my husband and I stood silently together,泪流满面，contemplating how this had happened and wondering how our grandparents had the strength to survive.
在那些黑暗的时刻，有东西咔嗒一声。想到所有失去的家庭——包括我的家庭在内——我强烈地渴望开始自己的生活。And for the first time,我全心全意想要一个孩子。
As we stood together at Auschwitz,we truly realized the importance of sharing these stories with future世代，让那些失去的人的声音继续被听到。With our hands clasped,we dreamt aloud of having our own children so we could pass the stories along to the next generation.
This meant that,在我们生命中最黑暗的时刻，我们必须找到光明，把生命从包围我们的死亡中拯救出来。
And so,there we were in our little hotel room in Krakow.这并不浪漫，但我丈夫和我完全相连。After seeing Auschwitz with our own eyes,having children felt more important than ever — and as my eyes locked with his,不需要言语。We understood the incredible amount of love we had for each other.
第二天早上，考虑到我们的历史，我没想太多，我不太相信我会真的怀孕。When the tour in Poland ended,我们继续我们的私人旅行到布拉格，战后我祖父去的地方。这位祖父在我出生之前就去世了，但我知道战后，他和我的朋友把所有的钱都存起来了，in 1947,they opened a restaurant near Prague's Old New Synagogue.
I set out to find it.All I knew was it was near the synagogue,它的地址是18号，an important spiritual number in Judaism.过去，my family members had gone there and were unable to go inside,because the building is now under strict security,它现在被布拉格的犹太社区用作办公室。像我的亲戚一样，我丈夫和我被关在门口。
我们在外面等，直到一个女人走了出来。We told her our story;she kindly offered to go back inside and she took some photos with my phone.我觉得这是我们能得到的最接近的。But 当我们等待的时候，我们与一名以色列男子进行了一次交谈，他是该社区的一员。We told him our story and he said wehad进去。他和另一个人说话，and that man took us inside and gave us a tour of the entire building.
当我感谢他的时候，我哭了。我不敢相信我站在我祖父母一起生活的地方，more than 70 years ago.碰巧那天我戴着布比的围巾，while I didn't know it at the time,我也带着我们的孩子在我体内。
A few days later,我们回家了，and the following week I took a官网下载beplay体育ios版pregnancy test.不一会儿就出现了两条粉红色的线。I emerged from the bathroom with a smile on my face,告诉我丈夫我们有个女孩。没办法知道是个女孩，of course,but I felt it — just as I had felt ready to have a baby as we stood on those train tracks.
Our baby girl was born in January.We named her Hazel Aubrey;哈泽尔是在我祖父赫尔曼之后，谁在18号开了那家餐馆，奥布里跟在我丈夫的祖父后面，Abraham,a survivor of Auschwitz.
One day,we will tell her the story of her namesakes,and about all eight of her great grandparents who survived the大屠杀.通过他们的故事，所有这些声音将继续被听到，以及所有 那些死去的人永远不会被遗忘。
