I met him in person only once, about one month ago. When I first saw Burt’s picture onOur Time, the dating site for singles over 50, I was attracted to his playful attitude. He wore a redSanta帽子,从他的微笑,这是obvious he was enjoying himself.
我联系了他两次，他回应前。即使如此，它花了大约一两个星期之前，他致力于满足我。公平地说，他将有一个漫长的车程，从北好莱坞一路加州长滩 - 这是一个多小时的一个很好的一天的长途跋涉。我们约定见面的El Torito的，一家墨西哥餐厅靠近我的公寓。他们凯迪拉克玛格丽特是伟大的，它是足够接近家里，我可以喝一杯或两个，而不是担心会平安回来。
I felt optimistic and at the same time a little nervous. No matter how enthusiastic I might be about someone’s image and profile, like most people, I never know how I’m going to feel about the person until I actually meet him. Dating at an older age is a challenge, but so was约会在年轻的时候。有时候我在想，尤其是因为我倾向于日期更加年轻的人，我是否会被认为是“太老”，但到目前为止，它已经不是一个问题。此外，我知道我很聪明，我有一个很好的性格，很多淫荡，并且不让它停止我足够的勇气。
I took a table for us in the bar and waited. Ten minutes later, he walked in. I recognized him immediately and waved him over. I like tall men (he’s about 6 feet), and he had lots of gray hair, which I also liked, but unlike his photo, it went north, south, and all points in between. He sat down and we began talking.
他告诉我，我是漂亮，然后补充说，他从来都没出去和别人一样古老我（我是77，他是71）。我告诉他，我从来没有与某人进行一样古老他，这是事实。我们笑在那个交换。
I did not feel an immediate attraction to Burt as I had with some other men, and I didn’t think he was interested in me, either. It wasn’t that we lacked for conversation. He told me about his love of cooking and the压力锅he uses to make his terrific meals. I talked a little about my writing. We both asked questions of each other.
There just wasn’t the magic I’d been hoping for. We each ordered a margarita. I wondered if we might have a different impression of one another if we were inebriated. I thought about having a second drink to test this theory, but, upon reflection, drinking my way toward an attraction did not seem like a good idea. We had lunch, as planned, and afterward, said our goodbyes. I touched his hand. He made no response and didn’t ask to see me again. That was that — or so I thought.
令我惊讶的是，第二天我的新朋友发短信给我说，他很喜欢见到我。奇怪的是，我有一种温暖的感觉一切都完了。我发短信给他。我问他是一名律师一些问题，因为我写犯罪小说，如果他在任何刑事案件的工作。我们谈到了我们的动物，音乐，甚至政治互爱。(We happen to be of the same political persuasion, so, luckily, no conflict there.) What we texted about wasn’t as important to me as how very quickly we developed a nice banter, in a way that we hadn’t on our date. It didn’t take long for me to realize I was having fun. He began calling me in addition to texting. We had lively conversations, talking about everything. He likes spicy food (I don’t), he has a rowing machine (I take walks), he has a son (I don’t have children), hehas a cat（我喜欢狗）。尽管如此，我开始期待他的文字和电话。不久，我们做了另一个日期。
Before we could meet again in person, however,新冠病毒hit this country, and with the highly contagious disease came the recommendations to stay home. Terror then boredom followed. And then news reports began popping up with suggestions to limit gatherings to 25 people. That got my attention. Then it was down to 10. Soon, it was “only go out if it was an absolute necessity.” We had talked about him coming to my place and ordering food in, but I am a senior citizen with asthma. That means, with the新冠病毒lurking, I am at high risk for getting it and not living through it. That means I have to self-quarantine. Which meant I’d have to cancel our date.
这也意味着我很孤独，每天24小时。随着只是我的想法。这会给我足够的时间纠缠于我的恐惧，纠缠于我的潜力消亡，并纠缠于我将不得不在健身房锻炼，这对我很重要我停下我的锻炼政权的可能性physical and mental health.My goal is to stay healthy, so my motivation is strong. Loneliness enveloped me like a steel cocoon from which I couldn’t escape. A jolt of anxiety struck and I couldn’t shake it. Life was looking bleak.
I expressed my fears about the virus to Burt. He said softly, and with compassion, that what we can do is take it one day at a time. He was right, of course, and I felt reassured. We continued our conversations on the phone (lasting an hour or more each time), which led to more texting, morning, afternoon, and evening. As inMy Fair Lady, I grew accustomed to his voice. I enjoyed his wit and appreciated his concern about me.
Over the days and weeks, our texts became flirtatious. That led to a lot of laughter, and even led to phone sex. I am,you see, the author of a memoir titledMy Sexual Awakening at 70.Once Burt and I began our texting exchange, I sent himan article I wrote, forgetting my book title was mentioned in my bio. He was curious about it and asked me some questions. I answered them. Our conversations became more sexual. And the more sexual they became, along with his understanding and sense of humor, a real attraction grew. I’m no longer bored, or lonely. Sometimes I’m even calm. But most of all, I feel alive at the most vulnerable and frightening time of my life.
图像由阿丽娜Kvaratskhelia / Getty图像
