它开始于一个绝望的企图占领我2岁的孩子。我们最近搬家了，不仅仅是在全国，在世界各地，到了大都会区，我丈夫很清楚，但我不知道。我们在短时间内采取了行动，还没来得及提前找到托儿所。
我的日程安排很灵活，while my husband's was not,and so I was home.Home with my child,有很多小时要填满，在一个我不认识任何人的新地方。
Among the various charming features of our new home was its proximity to a naturally occurring water source,一条流经树木茂盛的公园长达10英里的小溪。在某些地方，小溪可以由一条木制的人行桥穿过，fallen tree trunk or series of gigantic boulders.Little beaches dot the creek at regular intervals,and it was there,在岩石和杂草中，mud and mosquitos,that my son and I discovered a treasure one late summer day: sea glass in every imaginable shade of green,from emerald to sea foam;白磨砂的透明玻璃；brown glass glinting like amber in the rubble;and occasionally,a piece of royal blue glass,像蓝宝石一样闪闪发光。
Before we continue,我们来讨论一下明显的用词不当。What my son and I had happened upon was not in fact sea glass,这意味着海洋的存在，带着缅因州夏天的图片。What we had found was,事实上，溪玻璃，更谦虚。The pieces were jagged and rough,以奇怪的形状和大小出现。有的被水配置成多面宝石，others were light and translucent as ice chips.有些人的前世留下了喜力或可口可乐瓶的痕迹，数字或偶尔出现的单词片段。
Collecting the glass was calming,almost meditative,and soon it became part of our daily routine.The only sound accompanying us was water rushing over rocks,maybe one of us singing to ourselves.有时我们会看到一只鸭子。有时我们会看到一只鹿。Sometimes other kids would come by and ask us what we were doing,and invariably they would join us."Look what I found!" they'd call out,and rush over with their discovery.Finding light-blue glass was uncommon,但深蓝色更是如此。I explained this to my son,and soon,upon finding such a piece,he'd exclaim,“难得的蓝色！”
当我们到家的时候，我们会把赃物浸泡在肥皂水里，then dry it and sort it by shape and color.我们会检查每一块；one looked like a shark's tooth,另一个像船。Our collection grew: it filled a jar,then another,另一个。
If I were so inclined,我们可以用我们的赏金制作风铃或马赛克，或者，as I found on Etsy,a "coastal glass wall clock." But I didn't want to做任何有玻璃的东西；what was valuable to me was not what it could add to my "décor," but the process of collecting it,the afternoons we spent immersed in our task as the hours flew by.
然后，一个秋天的早晨，我的小男孩开始上幼儿园。His days were filled,and when I picked him up,he was usually too tired to go to the park,更别说去找玻璃了。He was on to Paw Patrol figures,小提克斯篮球，还有火柴盒车。I had to acknowledge that our days prospecting for treasure were over.在一个神奇的世界里呆在一起的短暂时光，部分是我们自己创造的，结束了。
*
移动，事实证明，不容易。I knew that,because I'd already done it a bunch of times in my adult life.但我从来没有和孩子做过。I'd never moved to a new place tasked with the responsibility not just for my own acclimation,but for someone else's.当我感到自己迷失方向时，我怎么能让我的儿子感到安全呢？
但搬家的好处在于它充满了惊喜：六个月后，很明显，我们搬到这里来（我丈夫的）工作没有成功。Soon after,我发现与我疏远的父亲病得很重。Then the house we were renting broke out in a rash of mold,像麻风病一样出现在墙上。与管理公司进行了一次旷日持久的谈判。My tendency toward anxiety tilted full-scale.一旦罕见的恐慌发作成为常态。Some nights I cried so hard my eyes were still puffy the next morning.
I had the expected arsenal of tools at my disposal—the weekly therapy session,瑜伽练习，and many a Jewish woman's best friend,SSRI。但这些做法都没有起到足够的作用。所以一个星期天下午，while my son was at his cousins' house,I tried to think of what I could do to feel better.我试着想想最安静的，我能想象的最平静的地方，这时我才明白我到底想做什么：我要去小溪里找玻璃。
在没有一个蹒跚学步的孩子的情况下徒步到水里感觉有点奇怪，就像我违反了一个非官方的规则；成年人有更重要的事情要做，比如纳税和考虑死亡。埋在岩石里，我发现了一块浅绿色的玻璃，像水晶一样切割成方形。I found a heavy white disc,很明显，一旦瓶底，now worn smooth and sculptural.我想知道它在下游游了多久。
At home,I filled jar after jar with my discoveries,很快我就在厨房的架子上摆了一排，就好像我冬天在装蔬菜。但不像罐头，this task had no actual purpose.And unlike other hobbies,like gardening or knitting,它不会喂饱任何人，也不会给任何人保暖。但它给了我很多快乐，寻觅的东西是，基本上，垃圾，and finding beauty in it.
与此同时，life kept moving.My husband got a new job.My son made friends at school.我开始做更多的工作。I switched therapists.We moved a few streets away to a new,better insulated,home.My panic attacks became less frequent.One day,在收集玻璃的木桥下，我发现脚下有一个很大的，三角形钴玻璃片。Nobody else was around,and without realizing it,我自言自语道：“罕见的蓝色。”
This post is part of the这里，现在series,旨在消除心理健康的色素，
并由UJA-Federationof New York和犹太人委员会.
You can findothereducationalmental health resourceshere.
