In my new, “new normal” life of working from home, socializing from home, and, well, pretty muchalways being home, I find myself on Zoom calls nearly every day. Lately, I’ve become the host of many work Zoom meetings where, by default, I end up sharing my screen.
On almost every call, the same thing happens: I hit the share screen button, and before I can open the document or image I intend to share, my screensaver appears for my fellowzoomers看。这是我家人的一个大，明亮的照片 - 我的丈夫，我们的两个孩子和我。
Nearly every time, I am surprised when the people on the call remark — with what seems to be genuine enthusiasm — on the adorableness of my young family. “Such cute little kids,” they say.
But I cut them off mid-gush. “Oh, that picture is so old,” I say. “My kids are 17 and almost 15 now.”
大多数时候，他们都感到惊讶地听到这个。“有时间更新图片，”有人通过我的屏幕说我的屏幕。
我在头上做快速数学，我意识到这张照片是10岁。Ten years? Ten years! How could that be?
The picture is a casual snapshot, taken by a nice stranger one early evening in late August, 2010 in the midst of our then annual week-long beach假期Long Beach Island. We are sitting on a bench outside of our favorite ice cream place in the tiny town on the tippy top of the long skinny seaside island we so loved. We still love the island. We just haven’t been there in I’m not exactly sure how long.
我们在照片中的微笑看起来如此真实，所以很自然 - 没有被迫在我们拥有的许多其他图片中所做的那样。看着照片，我想神奇地回到时间，发现我们每个人都在思考和感受到那种陌生人，一些严肃的轻型捕捉技巧捕获了那个短暂的时刻。你知道你在某个时间和地点在你的脑海中看到自己，即使你在年龄没有？在我的头上，几乎每天，我想象自己and my family我们实际上在那张照片中。
Ten years ago, my daughter let me do her hair. It’s braided in two pigtails, complete with mismatched ponytail holders. She’s wearing a purple butterfly T-shirt that clashes with her too-large, hot pink and navy blue cardigan sweater. Her teeth were not yet fixed by braces and so her smile also seems mismatched — and also completely perfect.
我儿子的头发很长，他现在的少女标准。雀斑淹没了他7岁的脸。那些雀斑什么时候消失了？也许当茬上的茬上的茬，并且购买了电动剃须刀？他穿着一件费城菲利斯衬衫，其中一个曾经占据了90％的无数人他的夏天wardrobe. Around his neck are pieces of rope — he used to sleep in those, telling me that MLB players did the same thing.
When this photo was taken, I could still refer to my husband as a redhead, and people knew what I was talking about. His sunglasses rest atop his head, despite the sun having already set that evening. I can now recognize this look as a sign of the perpetual, physically busy life of a parent of small children. We used to call those beach weeks “working vacations” — we’d pack up the pull cart for a day at the beach, only to have to turn around nearly immediately to retrieve some forgotten item. These were not lazy days at the beach — each day I’d ambitiouslypack a novel但我从不破坏我的书的脊椎。相反，我会和我的儿子一起投掷飞盘，无休止地用我的女儿挖掘沙子，当然，来回走到房子，休息和零食。
I’m not wearing any makeup in the picture. Maybe it was because we were at the beach that day? Or maybe it was because I didn’t actually need makeup 10 years ago? (I wish I knew that back then!) My laugh lines look familiar to me now, but the rather smooth forehead does not. I still wear that hot pink sweater, as well as the green wrap bracelet and the stud earring that my grandmother gave me. I’m still nostalgic for all of these things. I recognize the giant summer canvas bag I used to call a pocketbook. It was really an oversized tote filled with decks of cards, water bottles,着色书籍, and snacks — endless snacks.
这张照片的7岁男孩现在高六英尺。他填满了他自己的巨大佳制水瓶，把它带到了一辆车上的篮球练习that he drivesall by himself. The little girl with the pigtail braids now wears her hair quite long. I can’t recall the last time I even brushed it. Her clothes are no longer mismatched, and these days, usually only in shades of gray and black.
The four of us don’t fit together in that jigsaw puzzle piece-like way that we did in that photograph. My son no longer fits in the crook of my arm; my daughter hasn’t sat on my husband’s lap in many years. Fortunately, we still fit together in other ways — a fleeting hug in the kitchen as I reach way up to my son before he heads out the door; in the bent over glance of my daughter’s laptop as I read an essay she wrotefor school，一个我本来可以想象那个小女孩的作曲。这几天，我丈夫有时间从他的头上取下眼镜。我有时间擦他的剃光头，我的女儿也是如此。我们当我们这样做时，我们总是笑，他和我们一起笑着 - 或者也许是在我们身边。
I have a slew of pictures on my computer that show us in our new forms. They more clearly represent the people and the family we have become. I’m not sure why I don’t replace my long standing screen shot with one of those. Maybe I’m a sucker for nostalgia; there is something about that moment, when I open up我自己的笔记本电脑每天早上，每天早上喝咖啡，有时候妆容，有时不是。有时候有孩子睡着了楼上，有时候他们已经在家庭办公室里的门和丈夫在大厅里。我看到我屏幕上的家庭。这是我们。并且以某种方式 - 对我来说，至少 - 这is我们。它永远是我们。
Header image via Rachel Levy Lesser/sweetym/Getty Images
