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Special Needs

在一年的隔离之后,所有犹太人都有品尝特殊需要的家庭感觉

We started off inMarch 2020with so much optimism. After several false starts using assisted technology to help my 11-year-old son’s severely delayed speech, he was finally approved by our insurance company for a new device to help him, quite literally, find his voice. We eagerly started looking for yet another new expert to work with our son to learn his new tool.

Our elder son is on theautistic spectrum, with a severe speech delay and processing issues. Due to those challenges, he struggles to both retrieve language and to speak, though his receptive language is far stronger than his expressive language. But this new communication device is a customized touch screen that teaches him to form sentences, and he can touch those sentences to make the device speak for him.

我们很高兴能够为我们的儿子访问更多语言,因此他可以在更广泛的社会中包括更多,并且更容易被视为我们认识他的明亮,有能力的男孩。通常,他的语言赤字,以及结果的沮丧行为,完全掩盖了人们认为他只是另一个需要一个孩子归属感, as all humans do.

然后来到3月中旬,流行病,一切都在我们的郊区费城社区关闭,包括我们儿子的专业学校(以及他弟弟的私立学校也关闭)。随着我们当地官员的保证,这只会持续几个星期,我们鸽子quarantine life伴有态度。我们尽可能地储存电源,我们可以赶紧升级我们的令人讨厌的过日期电脑,以便尝试远程学习。

随着时间的拖累到几个月,我们的孩子们长期受到家园的效果。常规的丧失引起了两者中焦虑的急剧增加。我们的旧儿子遭受了紧张头脑,这变得更加糟糕,而他的自我伤害行为,如咬和敲打头,大幅增加。他的弟弟开始常规噩梦,失去了他阳光明媚的乐观,变得闷闷不乐。

Zoom school, too, was a disaster. While our younger son missed seeing his friends in person, the situation was even more difficult for our older son, who screamed atthe screen并且不会坐在它面前。Much of his learning had to be done hand-over-hand, in order to practice writing or reading, which requires one-on-one instruction.

All along, my sense that somehow I — with zero experience with any of this — should be able to “handle” the situation, grew and grew. My friends, too, would reflexively claim to be “fine” in flat, dull voices as our internal fears grew that the kids were不是事实上,好的。

By summer, my mom friends, and I became more forthright with each other. Months of social deprivation had left kids listless and depressed; it turns out online games are not equivalent toin-person interaction。慢慢地,我开始大声说出我不好,我的孩子也不是我的孩子,如果我没有表达我的担忧会变得压倒。

为了我听起来像是抱怨花时间和家人共度时光,让我向你保证,我不是。我很感激我们花在一起阅读的时间,无论是与我的旧儿子还是佩西杰克逊系列Dino-Ridersseries with our younger son. We own all of the DVDs ofThe Muppet Showand watched and rewatched many beloved episodes together (including Harry Belafonte, Roy Rogers, and Dale Evans).

我们幸运的是,我们儿子致力于行为和言语治疗师愿意亲自见到他。他们甚至消除了其他exposure risks尽可能安全地让事情保持安全,这是许多其他人无法经历的祝福。

However, notwithstanding our hero therapists, our sense of isolation magnified, especially as we already felt isolated simply by being a family with special needs. Due to our older son’s therapeutic needs, we did not always have the ability or the energy to do things other families in our community took for granted, likeattending Shabbatservices on Friday night.

Fortunately, Zoom allowed us to attend synagogue services more than we had in years, which gave all of us a welcome feeling of tradition and community, even if theZoom fatigueraged on. As it happens, I had been working for several years to help create a more inclusive community at our Reform temple, as too often, I had to endure disapproving glares from other congregants if my son became overwhelmed or disruptive during services. There were many events that were not accessible to our family, or to other members with a range of other challenges. (For example, families were pursuing “alternative mitzvahs” elsewhere if their children struggled with traditional learning.)

I feel strongly that the culture of our congregation — which presented a flawless and neatly-packaged image — needs to become a place where people feel comfortable seeking empathy and support. And this, I find, is true of much of the organized Jewish community as well. February may have been Jewish Disability Awareness and Inclusion Month, but the truth is that we should all be aware, all year round, of those within the Jewish community who may require额外支持ios下载beplayto participate in Jewish life. This can mean having people with disabilities more visibly represented at services, as well as adapting services and programs to meet a wider variety of physical and mental abilities.

At a basic level, it’s important for Jewish communities to become更好地调整对这些挑战。反过来,这又创造了一个更积极的富有同情心的文化,我们可以提供外展,而不是只是忽视挣扎,反过来又帮助everyoneknow that their community welcomes and values them just as they are.

由于大流行,我认为我们大多数人在全球范围内,现在都有一种孤立和挫折的味道,可以自然地对特殊需要家庭(或真的,对任何有挑战的人来说,这种挑战更难)。我们在学习差异方面集体学习了挫折。正如我们的儿子觉得无法轻易搬到他的想法的挫败感,我们中的许多人都经历了缩放静音。正如我们努力重新组合和设想随着大流行开始慢慢褪色的那样,我们希望我们能够掌握这种孤立和挫折的经验,以了解积极地互相达到彼此的重要性当我们“不罚款”或在挑战时期支持他人时,请讲述真相,所以他们会因为他们而感到欢迎。ios下载beplay冠状病毒可能是犹太社区内的同情和创造力的急需跳板,以便我们不仅向外寻找机会Tikkun Olam.。我们还应该在我们自己的犹太社区中寻找更多的欢迎和包容性。

Header image by simplehappyart/Getty Images

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