Tova Mirvis
作者Tova Mirvis的新备忘录，分离书, is a beautiful examination of what it means to upend一个人的生命：在Mirvis的情况下，她离开了她的婚姻，她离开了她的正统犹太教的终身练习。她的故事是痛苦，内省，诚实和精彩。在这里，Mirvis是一个以正统字符熟练写作的小说家，最近与京尔杰纳号角有关离婚，同理心，宗教，苹果beplayand truth.
你指的是多元犹太教 - 你写信给你的孩子去一个多元的犹太学校 - 但你看起来不愿意与改革保守或重建犹太人联系，现在已经离开正统。
当你留下你内心的东西时，你需要体验经验之间的沙漠场所。“不再是正统”是我的隶属关系 - 似乎它应该是一个自己的类别。我属于一个传统的平等临沂米尼亚，在我们家附近遇到。它效果很好，因为我的孩子在那里有朋友，我喜欢那里的人，它是一个靠近的步行。
I feel like the secular community is predisposed to liking your conclusion of not wanting to be a member of an orthodox strain of religion because it’s their own conclusion as secular people. But how has your memoir been received by the Orthodox community?
我听到很多人在宗教中usly observant community who appreciated the book. It’s not a slam against the Orthodox world or the religious world. The question it poses is, what do you do when there are people in your midst, families, who do not have the same beliefs as you do?
Within the Orthodox community and across lots of religious communities, there is a pervasive question of what it means to be authentic. I think there is a deeper sense of engagement that comes not just from outward observance but from a true sense of connection and authenticity.
当你观察你被提升到观察时，感到不真实是什么意思？如果你不同意，那就没关系，不喜欢它，如果你里面的一切都抗拒。你觉得没有感觉到你的问题。你扭动了自己，你觉得，我必须重塑自己 - 这一定是我的东西，缺乏我看不到这个的美丽，我认为这是非常损害。它需要您可能不同意的可能性，并为自己做出选择。然后你失去了找到意义的能力。
Covering my hair, for example, offends my very notion of what it means to have autonomy over my body. So I am observing something and being made to act like it is a God-given truth, when everything inside me says, “I don’t think that,” it’s cognitive dissonance that is overwhelming. It chips away at the sense of authentic experience when you don’t believe in what you are doing.
On the other side of consistency, I believe, is authenticity. If consistency and authenticity can go together, then that is a very lucky way to live. When they diverge, I think I have to go with authenticity.
您认为，在多个谚语“外面”中的声音在多大程度上 - 例如，从现代东正教社区内批评您的书籍 - 在您决定离开正统的决定？
我想他们做到了。我写了关于正统的关于正统，我问我的角色与它搏斗，所以最终，很难在我自己的生活中问它。[来自东正教社区]的批评不是艺术术语：它是，“你是否提出了我们社区的价值观？你和我们在一起吗？你是我们之一吗？“而且我认为这个问题是如此限制。当它到达它时，我意识到了，不，我不是在这里为一个团队播放。我不愿意牺牲我的想法提出这个版本[宗教]我知道我真的不相信。
I remember reading your books as someone who has personally struggled with observance. I remember thinking as I read your writing, “Well, if such a smart and insightful woman has made peace with the problems I see in Orthodox Judaism, maybe I should make peace with it too.” Are you surprised by that reaction?
For me, those books are asking questions about what it means to belong, or to believe, or the loneliness of feeling what you don’t believe. I was asking these questions but wasn’t ready in my own life yet to deal with them.
Tell us about the reaction to your recentNew York Times pieceabout taking your son for his first non-kosher pizza.
I’ve gotten so many emails from people who relate to the story in one way or another, even in unlikely ways, people from so many different ages and backgrounds and locations, who all struggle with the question of what does it mean to change, and what are the repercussions for those around you.
How is life now?
好吧，把任何书放出来总是非常勇气，但这一个对我来说更为难以如此，因为它是如此的个人。在这么多的书籍活动中，有人问道，“你介意我问你一个个人问题吗？”我总是思考，“好吧，我写了一个回忆录，所以我怎么能抗议这件事？”
Being honest about the story and sharing it and owning the story and really talking about it has invited people to share their stories with me and it has been very moving. I do feel relief in putting something out there and getting it straight and being honest: “This is who I am, this is what I think.”
Parenting is hard enough, dayenu! Divorce is hard enough. But add religion on top of it and there’s another whole layer of complication. How are you handling that?
我认为我的孩子早些时候就学习了多种方式，他们看到人们制作这些选择，并知道他们也会制作这些选择。我认为这很好。他们知道我们在妈妈的房子里做的事情，我们在他（仍然观察）爸爸身上没有做过，反之亦然。
The saving grace is that I find that kids are always willing to have the hard conversations. Any family dynamic that is harsh forces those decisions out in the open. We have the tough conversations. “What does that feel like for you, what would feel better for you?” We are open.
每当你通过某些东西时，它会让你看到不同的事情。我觉得很长时间，我们都必须假装我们拥有这些完美的家庭，每个人的婚姻都很好，但你经历了一些事情，它会改变你。你意识到有多少人正在遇到其他事情，你永远不会知道你将在哪里拥有你的开放时刻。
例如，我的前两个孩子是早期容易读者，而且学习专家的整个想法都不是我世界的一部分。但是我的女儿随后努力学习阅读，它突然改变了我的一切。我得明白与学习专家有密切的关系！
我所说的是，我们的盲目景点被震动。离婚，阅读，这一切让我成为父母，我们永远不会知道我们要处理什么，那些我们必须提高我们能够成为同情的能力，为我们的孩子造成谁的空间。
这次采访已经编辑了长度和清晰度。
