每个周日早上长大，我们有两个仪式：一个星期天的大早餐和一个电话聊天与我们的爱人。bubbe在佛罗里达州。我们将把电话传给我们五个人，这样每个人都可以向珍妮特问好。虽然她不能和我们在一起，她可以感觉我们——分享最新的报告卡结果时，我们的声音中充满了兴奋。这是一个仪式，对我祖母来说意味着这个世界，who carried photos of us in her wallet,并且愿意凯维尔about how wonderful we were to anyone and everyone she encountered.
When I went away to college,life got busier.我错过了那些聊天，但无可否认，didn't make the time for them.So I began writing letters to my grandma—letters I wrote until she passed away from cancer in January 1999.
Eleven years later,I gave birth to my daughter,玛雅。我父母住在新泽西，我姐姐住在纽约，我的哥哥和嫂子住在加利福尼亚……我们住在密歇根。While the distance between all of us can feel monumental at times,Sunday Skype (or FaceTime) has been our saving grace in between our visits.
我的家人真的看着她，现在5岁，她2岁的弟弟本在我的iPhone上长大，between daily photos and videos and our special Sunday ritual.Of course we wish we lived closer together–and I get envious of friends who have family nearby–but we've made do.They got to watch her hit all her milestones: rolling over,sitting up,standing,爬行，行走，说话。即使只有几个月大，they could interact with her as though they were in the room,唱着她会点头或跳舞的歌。一旦她开始说话，it wasall over.当电话铃响时，她希望（也希望）在Skype上看到他们，因为这是她童年不可分割的一部分。
同样地，they've seen Ben grow up before their eyes in the same way–only this go around,they get to watch sibling love/rivalry at its finest as they vie for attention,或者为了玩具/游戏/任何东西互相挑战。
当你和家人相隔很远的时候，真的没有别的办法。你必须依靠技术，like Skype and FaceTime,连接和连接。For anyone facing this daunting challenge–and fears their kids will miss out on a close relationship with their grandparents or other family members–allow me to dispel that myth.我的孩子们和我的家人非常亲近——尽管他们一年只见过他们3-4次，这是因为我们全部的付出努力。
以下是我们如何做到的：
1.Make time to chat a priority.Face time is critical,and when geography dictates that we can't have it,这是第二件好事。We chat mostly Sunday mornings when the kids are still in their jammies and just playing at home.当然，有些周末，因为旅行，我们不能在平时聊天，其他承诺，playdates,etc.—but we know atsome point每个星期天我们都会玩Skype或FaceTime。And that consistency has been key for everyone.
2。Create a special ritual for those chats.因为玛雅非常小，我妈妈会给她看这个装在小饰品盒里的小木瓢，当她打开它的时候，它的腿会扭动。玛雅每次看到它都会发光。As she got older and could talk,如果我妈妈不先给她看，她会要求看。当我们去新泽西的时候，她知道在哪里能找到它：在厨房电视上方的架子上。那只小瓢虫被认为是治愈的。许多的这些年来发脾气！同样地，我爸爸总是问她，“你为什么这么可爱？“她的反应总是，"Baby,I was born this way!"–their special banter.（本对同一个问题的回答是，"It's in my DNA!" Both of these answers are courtesy of my dad).他还向孩子们展示了他们的鸟和猫，and brings the phone around the house,所以对他们来说，这已经变得非常熟悉了——即使我们在那里还不够。
3.Play even from afar.Maybe it's pretending to give the kids a snack through the phone (playing pretend),或者他们一起唱一首歌或者读一本书。有时他们会“亲吻”或“拥抱”孩子们，我要做身体检查，就像他们在那里一样。这可能会让人觉得很傻……但是当孩子们这么小的时候，连接的小方法真的很大。
通过这个小盒子连接当然和他们刚洗头的头发或者他们躺在床上时脖子上热气的温暖不一样……但是我们做到了，我们活着是为了探访。
April 8 is our next one—not that I'm counting or anything …
你呢？你依赖FaceTime或Skype与家人联系吗？
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