经许可摘录自“My Jewish Year: 18 Holidays,One Wondering Jew”,Copyright © 2017 by Abigail Pogrebin,由Fig Tree Books LLC出版。
我的两个童年的莎草很温暖，但没有精神。在我表弟丹尼在长岛的家里，我把花生从吧台的碗里喝了下去，这样我就不会在我们艰难地穿过哈加大的时候挨饿了。At my Aunt Betty's in Larchmont,we inverted the salt shaker into the matzah ball soup so it would have some flavor.There was little spontaneity as we recited pages of text.The only suspense was who would be asked to read aloud.
So I've tried,在继承Seder职务后的几年里，to introduce at least one activity that captures the children's attention so they becomeintegralplayers in the entire evening—not just to perk up during the four questions and "Dayenu," the centerpiece song that means "It would have been enough."
One year,我邀请孩子们每人准备一节莎草（四个孩子，the ten plagues) so they could explain it in a format of their choosing: poem,song,说唱，PowerPoint,伊莫维art.Another year,我把赛德的15步（由11世纪的塔木德学者组成）分别放在带有双面尼龙搭扣的索引卡上，洗牌，and asked the kids to work together to put them in the right order on a poster board I had bought (and decorated) from Kinko's.孩子们长大了，我让这些练习更具挑战性，把辩论话题放在他们的盘子里，给他们每一分钟的时间来辩论他们的立场。They loved the gamesmanship,我喜欢看到他们自己的故事足以引起争议。例子：
Resolution for Ethan (nephew) to argue:“解决了：法老不可能因为每一次瘟疫而被完全指责，因为根据圣经，God kept ‘ hardening' Pharaoh's heart."
Resolution for Ben (son) to counterargue:"Resolved: Pharaoh should be blamed entirely for sending each plague because he could have done the right thing when Moses first asked."
This year,my teenage daughter,Molly,决定接受Matzah Ball Soup任务，她从琼·内森那里选了一个食谱”Jewish Cooking in America“莫莉在厨房里总是比我自在得多，and after she shops for all her ingredients,it's strangely comforting to watch her mash the matzah meal,egg,and dill as I sit nearby at the kitchen table,preparing the seder ceremony on my laptop.We're often a team,whether we're choosing her brother's Hanukkah gifts and wrapping them,or setting a birthday table with confetti and silly hats.She's a celebrator and an organizer who cares about marking things in a big way.观察她的效率和精力，I am reassured that she will carry on the holidays when I'm gone.
As Molly chops,mixes,and boils,我在每个盘子下面放了三张索引卡，我知道我计划在家宴的四个不同时刻提出三个充满希望的挑衅性问题，all of which the guests will answer anonymously and place in a bowl.计划是在不知道答案是谁的情况下大声朗读它们。我觉得诚实是一种安全的方式，not to mention a chance to get to know some of the seder-themed truths in the room.
The Haggadah I've used for the last three years is homemade—a collection of questions rather than readings,又是为了让孩子们继续订婚。当孩子们简单地背诵时，they zone out.我知道是的。所以我组装了一个哈加大，可以满足所有的逾越节的要求，同时邀请不断的参与。
晚上到了，我们开始了我们通常的拥抱和磨蹭，catching up loudly over wine and slivovitz,这是我从我姐姐罗宾的姻亲那里偷来的传统（这是一种不含谷物的利口酒，perfect for Pesach).大约30分钟后，my family needs to be corralled forcefully into our dining room to start the seder,尽管他们在三张租来的圆桌旁挤得那么近，但他们看起来很幽默。
About twenty minutes in,我先问我的索引卡问题。"Take out your pens and one index card from under your plate.Please write down an answer to this question—preferably legibly—and do not sign your name.The Haggadah reminds us to remember the stranger because we were once strangers;去年有一次你帮助陌生人。" It's not meant to be a guilt trip but to trigger awareness.每位客人都会拿出一张卡片和一支笔，writes an answer.I pass a bowl and it fills up with the anonymous cards.我把它们混在一起，把碗传过来，then each guest reads one answer aloud.
我给任何无家可归的人一美元。
I tutored a third-grader in math.
I sent a donation to a cancer research.
People are listening to each other,不确定下一步将共享什么。I can't explain why the engagement matters so much to me.有件事让我强烈地感觉到这个假期，probably more than any other,应该抓住犹太教的本质。A seder should amount to more than the joyful chaos of a family reunion;如果没有犹太教，这种情况就可能发生。It should make Jewish kids want to be Jews.Because our heritage is spirited,intimate,结合。
I've also placed one scallion next to each knife because a rabbi in L.A.提到——我很高兴——在“大雁”合唱团中邀请每个人（温和地）殴打他或她的邻居，回忆起埃及人的鞭子。大葱很受欢迎。It's hard to describe the hilarity of watching my husband whip my second cousin or my son lash his aunt.
经过几个小时的讨论，玛撒，parsley,bitter herb,沙哑的歌声，太多的食物和摩尼斯威茨，桌布被弄脏了，地毯上撒着面包屑。But we've made a Passover and fulfilled the mitzvah: "On that day,告诉你的孩子们……”
