当我觉得回到2020年3月13日 - 我的孩子那天从学校回家为了“two weeks” — I remember assuming we’d be home for longer than 14 days. Still, like all of us, I had no idea the pandemic and our response to it would last as long as it has, or that returning to “normal” — whatever that means — would be as fraught as it looks like it’s going to be.
在过去一年中，我们的家庭做出了一些我们的朋友同意的决定，有些人发现荒谬。我们把孩子们拉了足球，even though the state we live in allowed play, without masks, for most of the year. We said no to birthday parties, sleepovers, and pool parties. We kept our kids home from school, though more than 70% of our district returned full-time in August (with full classrooms, and not enough room to distance by six feet). My husband and I feel incredibly privileged that our jobs allow us to behome with our kids持续工作，但能够保持家庭安全的人不应该是一个特权。
The hardline we took makes me think ofSiyag la-torah,which literally means “tobuild a fence around the Torah“或者创建旨在保护犹太人意外违反更严重的规则的规则的想法。由于我们该地区飙升的病例，我们建造了一个非常坚固的围栏。We opted to spend time just as a family so we wouldn’t have to make tough judgement calls, like hanging out with one family because we thought they had been taking the pandemic seriously, but not seeing another family, because we heard (or saw on social media), that they weren’t prioritizing the same things we were.
我们不想伤害感情，我们不想坚定地证明our choices，我们不希望别人觉得他们必须向我们提供合理的选择。We know we were doing things others wouldn’t feel safe doing — like going to the office a few days a week or grocery shopping in person every other week — but, in keeping mostly to ourselves, we hoped the choices we made would have little impact on the community around us.
But following Covid-19 mitigation guidelines is a lot like酒后驾车。虽然你只能控制是否是you驱动醉酒，其他人的选择可以对您的安全产生致命影响。与Covid-19缓解一样，有些人用醉酒驾驶的硬线拿下并遵循严格的禁欲政策;有些人试验和测试法律限制;有些人忽略了所有的预防措施。
我们的第一次经历managing the “new normal for now” came last week. Our kids had returned to soccer in March after their league issued a mandatory掩码规则为了每个人involved, from players to referees to spectators. The kids were wary but excited to get back on the pitch. But last week, their soccer club’s president walked back the mask mandate, saying it was “controversial” and that some families had “grievous concerns.” She said while the league still required masks, there would be times some peoplewouldn’tbe wearing them, and that everyone was to respect everyone else’s decision.
我想回到练习的第一天，当我在山上的毯子上读一本书，远离玩家和任何其他父母。无论如何，我穿着我的面具，而不是一个表演行为“醒来”剧院，但是因为那些是规则。另外，戴着面具，我觉得，向大家发出信号，是它的right thing to do。
This reminded me of the beforetimes, when I used to travel with an observant Jewish man for work. Whenever we ate out in a non-kosher restaurant, he would order a vegetarian meal和cover hiskippahwith a hat, in an act ofMarit Ayin., or avoiding the appearance of violating Jewish law. In this case, he wanted to make sure he didn’t accidentally indicate to others that the restaurant was kosher.
当我从远处观看足球练习时戴着面具时，这也是如此Marit Ayin.。我想确保我没有意外地向孩子们传达 - 或者其他任何人 - 打破面具授权就可以了。
Now, I’m not interested in debating the pros and cons of wearing masks while playing outdoor sports. In this instance, I am concerned because we signed up our kids to play soccer with a certainset of rules, and we are now facing a “relaxation” of those rules. That’s not because new information has come to light, or the number of Covid-19 cases are decreasing, but because the rules that made our family feel safe are just too hard for others to follow.
我应该澄清一下，此前，当规则表示，面具不需要在领域佩戴时，我们没有要求将面具授权置于原位 - 我们只是休息了一年。这不是一个简单的选择，也不是我们想要制作的，但我们觉得这是我们家庭的唯一负责任的选择。任何觉得穿着面具的人都扮演，教练或窥探（禁止医疗豁免）现在可以做出同样的选择。他们可以坐下一个赛季，而我们其他人在规则中参加并受到保护。相反，俱乐部已经决定谨慎实施规则。
当我第一次听到关于我们足球队的新闻时，我非常沮丧。我做得不多，但一整天睡觉或哭泣。我知道我的绝望感不仅仅是关于足球。他们是关于一个lack of control— a worry that I wouldn’t be able to protect my kids — and that, as hard as the decisions were in the midst of a pandemic, they were only going to get harder.
毕竟，这只是一个开始。随着更多的人are vaccinated，作为各国relax restrictions(even while case numbers climb), as more kids go back to school, and our own kids go back to school in the fall, I worry that choices will be put before us that aren’t in line with best practices — as if anyone really knows what those are. I worry there will be no good solutions. I’m afraid our 13 months of taking this virus very, very seriously as a family will all be for naught, and that feeling is horrible.
Sadly, so much of the “debate” about masks is wrapped in the politics of fear. People who wear masks are called “babies” by some people; these same people call masks “face diapers.” It’s as if fear is an emotion to be eradicated and derided. As a woman who moves through this world with a healthy respect for my instincts, I have always found my fear to be illuminating — one part of a complex system that guides my decisions and my actions. I have always feared Americans were too individualistic to show up for one another and sadly, overhalf a million deaths并稍后倒数，这是一个令人担忧的是，这是正确的。
As we head toward a second pandemic summer, I want so badly for the pandemic, and for all of us, to turn the corner. I want the spirit ofSiyag la-torah和Marit Ayin.to pervade our communities. I want us all to build strong fences so we can eventually take them all down.
Boy_Anupong / Getty Images的标题图像
