这篇文章是我们的一部分Torah commentary series.This Shabbat we read Parashat Shlah.To read a summary of the portion and learn more,click here.
小时候，我的父母亲切地把我称为“如果的女王”，我可以用他们中最好的一个。New experience?Bring on the what-ifs.如果我不交朋友怎么办？如果我不喜欢那里呢？What if I don't pass that test,被那所学校录取，找到我的路？
My folks would jockey with me as much as possible,and often,they'd try and help me面对不确定性.这绝非易事。
Who can comfortably live with uncertainty?笪莱拉玛maybe.但他的圣洁却花了很多时间沉思；如果我能抽出时间冥想，perhaps I,同样，would feel more comfortable in the unknowing.But I'm too busy worrying about the what-ifs.
亲子关系有，if possible,made my what-if questioning ever more acute.如果今晚女孩们睡不着怎么办？What if we go on that vacation and they're miserable?如果他们分开了怎么办？What if they start school and don't acclimate well?What if they don't eat any green vegetables?What if,what if,如果…怎么办？And suddenly I've bitten my nails down to the quick and driven through a stop sign.
I've thrown out relatively benign examples here.显然，国际单项体育联合会的范围扩大到了更严重的情况，but the superstitious part of me refuses to put them down on paper.
The questioning goes beyond my children.我丈夫和我经常问对方对未来的看法。What if westopped doing the jobs we're doingand started doing something else?What if we sold our house and moved?如果我们出国怎么办？What if we dipped into savings and took a risk?
Or,如果我们待在原地怎么办？just where we are,and found ourselves doing the same thing and living in the same place,30年后？
Would that be bad?那会好吗？
如果我们停下来怎么办？just for a minute,假装别无选择。就这样。This moment,forever.
有时候我觉得这样很好。At 6 p.m.在一个温暖的周日下午，when the girls are running through the sprinkler and蚊子还没有下来，我和乔恩在看女孩们，偶尔会对我们在报纸上读到的一些东西抱怨。女孩们爬到我们的大腿上，把我们的短裤弄湿，穿着湿漉漉的泳衣，她们脸上的气味像婴儿防晒乳液一样贴近我们的脸，闻起来像酒，没有人哭或呜咽，或是想着明天的工作，而不是所有的，is this moment.I could live in this moment.No what-ifs necessary.
But these moments are just that.Moments.Not everything.不是所有的生命。
Can I imagine an idyllic future scenario?One where everyone's happy and healthy?Sure I can.这些幻想使我浮在水面上。I reckon that's the way everyone puts one foot in front of the other,thanks to these fantasies.But can I imagine the opposite,too?Sure I can.Sometimes so clearly,它使我瘫痪。
在谢拉,this week's Torah portion,Mosespicks 12 men to go to Canaan,这个应许之地,to see whether it is a good place for the Israelites to live.It's a scouting mission and 10 of the men come back and say,“不可能。我们不能去。那里很可怕。There are people in Canaan who are stronger than us–giants!相比之下，我们不过是蝗虫而已。”这10个人对他们在迦南所见证的一切感到恐惧，他们愿意回到埃及。为了避免在新的地方为他们准备的东西的不确定性，在不确定的未来。
But two of the men–Joshua and Caleb–disagree.They do not feel as the other men do.They think the Israelites are capable.他们感到自信。他们准备前进，to live in the present,to imagine that the future will be bright,并据此采取行动。
这是专栏的一部分，我告诉你我们需要更像约书亚和迦勒。Here's the part where I preach about how important it is to be optimistic,to think positively,教导我们的孩子要自信、大步前进、生活不确定、面对困难要坚强。
这里是专栏的一部分，你会翻白眼，因为生活是可怕的和不可预测的，especially when there are small vulnerable people who count on you.
Instead,I'll suggest this: locate your moment.我的是上星期天，也许你的事发生在今天。也许是每天睡觉的时候。Maybe it'll be this weekend,在公园里，一个朋友的家或者你自己的后院。Locate a moment in which you feel fine.Better than fine: happy.Content.安全。Satisfied.Then take mental notes.And store those notes somewhere in your brain where you cannot possibly lose them.Proceed throughout your day.当你遇到假设时，access those notes.Ask yourself if you could live in that moment that happened earlier in the day,last week,一个月前。
Yes?You could?伟大的。你赢了。You've figured out a way to keep the giants at bay for another day.你不仅仅是一只蚱蜢。You're hopeful.The future is scary but not impossible.你会到那儿的；we'll all get there,by clinging to the good moments and powering through the rest.
To read the previous posts in our Torah MOMentary series,点击这里.
Like this post?把Kveller的精华直接送到你苹果beplay的收件箱。
