我的一个朋友曾经恰如其分地说：“一个家庭假期is really just重新定位,but without all of your stuff that makes your life easier." And after our recent jaunt down to Orlando to introduce our daughter to her grandmother,I realized just how right she was.Seeing the family was a hit,将此视为我们的假期,然而，was decidedly amiss.

While traveling on a vacation is about taking a break fromworkand normalroutines(think: Waikiki beach with colorful umbrella drink in hand and blissed-out look on face),当你带着孩子旅行时，你把工作带来了。

别误会我。我真的很喜欢这么多逃离的事情，就像在外面吃饭，让别人给我提供晚餐。But when I had to stop thethirdglass of water from spilling all over Grandma's main course while my son exercised his artistic abilities by coloring in his kiddie placemat,eating out,and some of the other "perks" of vacation,lose their charm.

One way to make family vacations work better is to completely change the way you think about them,reframing them as a旅行as opposed to a目的地.犹太教对旅行有很多话要说。Every time you set out on a journey beyond the city limits,there is an ancient prayer that is said,calledtefillat haderekh,or "a prayer for the road." The prayer was originally composed for wayfarers to ward against obstacles they might encounter that would sabotage their trip (wild beasts,robbers,在未经授权的领土上的敌人，you get the idea).今天，我们今天的旅行有各种各样的破坏方式。

使用传统祈祷的语言，here are a few tips to keep in mind before setting out for your next family vacation:

Tip #1: Clarify expectations with your partner.

从祈祷中说：“愿这是你的意愿，Eternal One… that you lead us toward peace… and make us reach our desired destination for life,快乐，and peace"

I know that the one thing that makes these family tripsnotpeaceful is when my husband and I have vastly different views on how the trip will play out.Have a talk with your partner before you set off.Get on the same page about what this vacation is,你需要的是，and how you can set things up so that it meets your expectations.

For example,if your partner expects this to be a relaxing getaway where you have time to reconnect with each other,检查酒店是否有保姆服务，这样你就可以在外面过夜一两次。If there is a spa nearby,也许你们每个人都能在某个时刻得到治疗，而另一个在看孩子。

You might have slightly less ambitious goals…maybe all you want is to work out for 30 minutes each day,或者多读两章。Negotiate what you need ahead of time to avoid some conflict and experience a little more "gladness."

小贴士2：和你的孩子保持日常生活。

From the prayer: "May you rescue us from the hand of every foe…along the way"

我所知道的最大的敌人是我2.5岁的儿子，当他从滑稽变为滑稽时，chatty,对一个向我挑战的惠尼人来说，他是个随和的孩子。every让我们整晚都睡不着觉。

在新的地方过夜对你的孩子来说总是有点不舒服，try tostick to your routinewith your kids as much as you can.（30分钟后睡觉不会杀人，but missing a nap three days in a row might end up sending you and your toddler over the edge.) Be sure to pack thebedtime books,special blankets,or stuffed animals that will make even the strangest new places feel like home.

Tip #3: Embrace your inner calm.

From the prayer: "Grant us peace,kindness and mercy in Your eyes and in the eyes of all who see us."

当你的孩子遇到困难时，深呼吸（或几次）。所以当你的孩子在机场的浴室里撕掉自己的尿布，坚持要以“裸男”的身份在机场里跑来跑去时（这真的发生在我身上）。你可以冷静地接近他，知道你的公司和约束（如果需要）行为会牵制他，and that you can be assured all of those eyes looking at you and your red-faced child are the eyes of kindness and graciousness,not the eyes of judgment.

带孩子旅行不是野餐。But even after a long plane ride home (how could three hours feel so long!) and a slight migraine,I know that the alternative,呆在家里，would be worse.

对我来说，与亲友建立记忆和联系是非常重要的。With some practical tools inspired by an ancient prayer,hopefully my next journey will be a bit more peaceful.