Some parents joke about wanting to send preschoolers away to sleepaway camp so they can get a solid night of sleep or a peaceful day at the beach. This year I managed to do just that when my husband took our kids, ages 3 and 5, to the overnight camp where he works for three weeks.
当我的丈夫τght, my little kids swam in a big lake, dressed in all blue for Yom Sport (what some people know as Color Wars), and even climbed the ropes course. And every evening they were returned dirty and tired to my husband while I remained in our empty home more than 1,100 miles away.
I took advantage of those lonely and quiet nights to declutter the insanity that had become our house. My first stop was the dreaded train table. Somehow over the years we had amassed enough Thomas trains for at least three families. I sorted the trains, removing nearly half of them. I pared 12 Thomases down to two. Three Percies became one. Four carrying cases left the playroom.
And I gave all of those train toys away. Without telling my kids. Who are still OBSESSED with trains.
当然，更好的事情会一直向他们捐出自己的玩具这一裁决。我们做的是定期，但很少导致真正的干净了，我们迫切需要的。不知怎的，即使是大规模清理出一年前后，我们的房子又看起来像一个停车库热车轮，工程车，和Melissa和Doug的卡车。但就在我发现他们的火车一个新的家庭，我开始怀疑我做了什么。难道我摆脱我的儿子的最爱吗？他们会如何反应呢？我怎么会觉得如果有人进来，抢走了我的衣服的一半，不求回报？难道我越线？
It was a long week until my kids came back. Every night, when I came home from work, I saw the half empty train table and it seemed like it was taunting me, reminding me that perhaps I had made the wrong decision. I steered clear of it for the rest of the week.
My kids and husband returned one evening before I got home from work. The first thing my older son said to me when I walked in was, “Thanks, Mom! Where did the new trains come from?” as he happily played at the train table.
“Huh?” I whispered to my husband. “I off-loaded half of them.”
As it turns out, with fewer toys, my kids actually focused on what they had. Instead of finding an area cluttered with too much, they found a space in which they could actually play. They pulled out the tracks and built elaborate bridges and rail lines. They asked me to join them in playing trains, for the first time in months. And they didn’t make one comment about any of the missing trains. With less stuff, they found more joy.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. Indeed there is a growing trend around theart of organizingwith a mindful intent. For centuries, Judaism has also given credence to this idea—there’s the oft-quoted phrase, “Who is rich? One who is happy with what he has.” My kids could actually see what they had, and appreciated it.
For the past few months, my kids have been getting more TV time by themselves and less family play time. I’ve been OK with it, but the truth is that as my kids grow older, I am more cognizant that our together time is fleeting. My older son is headed to kindergarten this fall; my younger one will be in full day preschool. The abundance of toys weren’t just clutter. It represented more time out of the house, doing “big kid” things, and less time playing at home with me.
So in that moment, when my son was engrossed at the train table and asked me to sit with him and work on his train track, I was more than happy to join him. He was proud of his creation. I was proud of him. And I think together we were grateful for each other, and not the things that we owned.
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