I was once organized.
I used to go shopping.
I used to wander through different stores.
I used to take my time at the gym,and even take classes when I wanted.
I used to speak in complete sentences.我曾经…hang on… I lost my train of thought.
I once showered in peace.
I once made decisions solely based on me.
…until I became a mom.在我做妈妈之前，I was responsible for just myself.I only worried about making and getting to MY doctor appointments.I planned out,to the minute,what time I needed to set my alarm in order to be somewhere—on time.我经常洗澡，blew out my hair on a daily basis,and,believe it or not,有一次穿的不是运动服，而是起床。I wrote out my dreams and aspirations—all involving my career in soccer.But,最重要的是，the decisions I made only affected me.
这就是为什么，星期天晚上她一开口，I immediately related to Adele.在格莱美颁奖典礼上，她与母亲们分享了自己的奋斗历程，陈述：
“在我怀孕和成为母亲的官网下载beplay体育ios版过程中，我失去了很多自我，我一直在挣扎，作为一个母亲，我仍然在挣扎。It's really hard.But tonight winning this really feels full circle and like a bit of me has come back to myself."
Five years ago,我面临着人生中最艰难的决定。I was pregnant with my first child—and at the same time,I was also offered what I thought was my dream job: head coach of a division 1 university women's soccer program."What do you mean,你在想吗？”是每个家庭成员都问的问题。这就是你努力工作的目的，你一直在说什么years.这就是你。But,I couldn't.事实并非如此。有些事情改变了。I knew I had an obligation to give my heart and soul to this precious baby inside of me.所以，I graciously declined.
做母亲是我能想象到的最大的祝福。The unconditional love I have for my children is indescribable.But,这很难。It'sreally很难。It's hard to balance everything.Instead of planning a team practice session,I was preparing the baby's next three bottles.一旦我离开医院，停到我们的联排别墅，我看着这个小东西，想，"He is mine.It is my job to keep him alive." I had never had an experience comparable to raising a child.
All of the sudden,I was on this baby's feeding schedule,每三小时吃一次。I was trying to figure out what each cry was for—did I do something wrong?我怎么让他安顿下来？Does he have an ear infection?How would I know?And,the worst one of them all: the "Is he breathing?" question at 2 a.m.当他如此安详地睡觉时。The list of worries goes on and on.And,不幸的是，他们从不停止，他们只是改变。
As I have delivered each child,最近我的第三个，I feel I have lost a sizable piece of myself each time—to them.不错。Well,maybe,有时。But,本质上，my goals in life have changed.我曾经梦想在我的职业生涯中登上顶峰。But,I had this baby.And,谁能比他妈妈更好地照顾这个孩子？I struggled terribly with this crossroad.我仍然这样做。My once famed identity of being a star athlete and collegiate soccer coach abruptly transformed into "Levi's mom."
像阿黛勒一样，I have felt pieces of myself have been taken away and dissembled since having kids.,有时候会疼我。I struggle with this concept.But,like Adele,我会继续努力去做我喜欢的事情，while doing the best I can as a mother.I won't receive a Grammy to validate this,但是，即使是一个新的谈话约定也能帮我补充一点。
在2017年格莱美颁奖典礼上观看和聆听阿黛尔的音乐让人耳目一新。I instantly felt connected to her.That we are together in this thing called motherhood.感觉做母亲很难。Because it is.认为你们的碎片被拿走了没关系。The fact is—it's for the greatest creation we could ever ask for—and that is our children.Slowly,you will gain those parts back,like Adele did last night.And,you will feel whole.But,as we all know,this time goes by quickly.所以，I will give my kids all I have—just like you.
