“妈咪，when am I going to get my baby?" my 3-year-old asked this afternoon.
西蒙没有问他什么时候会有自己的孩子。他想知道他什么时候会有一个弟弟或妹妹。This past year,families at his day-care center experienced a baby boom.他的三个同学有了新的弟弟和姐妹，吸引我儿子的注意力和渴望。Then,today,街上有两个兄弟过来玩。他们的妈妈明显怀孕了。I told Simon that his friends,现在3和5，很快就会有一个弟弟或妹妹。这引发了这个问题。I had no easy answer.
“西蒙，”我说，"Mommy and Daddy don't plan to have more babies.You are very special,我们很高兴见到你。”
He nodded,然后问，“我能有个弟弟或妹妹吗？”
“不，I'm a little古老的.Do you understand?"
“不，”我儿子说，他喜欢和朋友的小兄弟姐妹们一起玩，也喜欢和他们一起玩。He cuddled in my lap and then scooted off to play with a truck.
决策时间
如果我和我丈夫有第二个孩子，做出决定的最佳时机是西蒙出生后。即便如此，这是一个冒险的提议。经过八个月的尝试和一些fertilitytreatments,我在一个非周期怀孕了。I had Simon at age 43.他出生后，I was conflicted about having another child.一方面，我觉得我们应该珍惜我们的祝福。我们不仅有了一个孩子——我们有了一个健康的孩子。
然而，there was this pang.I definitely had a longing for more than one child.
我从小就是三个孩子.I had gushy memories of playing with my brothers along with recollections of merciless teasing.说到兄弟姐妹，我也感到心痛。My brother Kevin was killed in a car accident when he was 23,and I,21.我为他的死挣扎了好几年。长大了，凯文和我形影不离，最好的朋友和兄弟姐妹一样多。How could I not want my son to have a chance at growing up with a brother or sister?兄弟姐妹可以是竞争对手，最终更像是熟人而不是家人。但他们也可以像凯文和我一样长大。我们想共同抚养我们的家庭。
我的丈夫，我，and my doctors,一开始对西蒙的出生情况感到兴奋。I had a normal delivery with no complications.我们兴奋地谈论着要生第二个孩子。但六周后，有一个酸涩的音符。I developed post-partum depression,每年有10%到20%的新母亲受到影响。I was overanxious,depressed,有时，至少三周不合理。我是，as I later found out,尤其是在我哥哥去世的第一个和第二个周年纪念日经历了短暂的抑郁症发作，因此处于危险之中。一些研究人员还说，服用生育药物和35岁以上的生育会使妇女更容易患产后抑郁症。
With help from my husband,a counselor,我与犹太教的联系越来越紧密，我大部分时间都是在诊断后三周内从抑郁症中恢复过来的。但是产后抑郁症让生第二个孩子的想法黯然失色。There was a 50-percent chance it could happen again,这一次，西蒙长大了，知道他妈妈出了什么问题。其他因素，including finances,weighed into our decision.Doctors,too,said we would need to work quickly given my age.我们担心如果我在西蒙出生的第一年怀孕会对他产生什么影响。My husband said he was OK with having just one child,and I,a little later,同样的感觉。
比一个人幸福还多
我们为第二个孩子而努力的窗口早已过去。我接近50比40。今天西蒙的问题又让我想起了那个老庞然大物，但很快就消失了。My husband and I have a wonderful gift–the son we have.But it is not an easy decision to declare that one is enough.
随着时间的推移，我希望西蒙能与同龄人建立终身的纽带。I work to make sure Simon's parents are not his only social contact.我们经常和其他孩子聚在一起。I have hope,too,为了我们的神庙社区might give Simon.The more we go to services and events,我们的神庙越像第二个家庭。如果我小10岁，做15个，I would have loved to have had more children.但我更喜欢把注意力集中在我现在拥有的东西上。在过去的五年里，得到一个丈夫和一个儿子是最美丽的beshert（命运）
了解更多有关家庭规模的信息，请查看
犹太人有三个孩子的习俗.
