I'm 45,and now that I've been a mom for 15 ½ years,I've shed a lot of the naiveté I brought to the parenting table when I first got here.其中之一，many ways in which I have changed as a parent is that I now bring a healthy dose of skepticism to "scientific studies" of parenting.
For example,takea studyconducted three years ago — and more recently making the rounds on social media — that reportedly shows how the more children a woman gives birth to,她的细胞老化得越慢.Yes,you read that right.这基本上意味着，as a mother of six,I have a virtual fountain of youth spouting inside me.Clearly,my DNAis having a party;我的端粒一定很忙，doing exciting choreographed water ballet numbers reminiscent of Esther Williams!
Now,I'm no scientist.但我很有信心这是一堆狗屎。Let's examine the evidence: This was me before I had six kids:
And this is me after having six kids:
我是说，对我的端粒有好处，端粒是DNA链末端的保护性小贴士，如果它们在那里都很有趣的话。But the journalist and skeptic in me will note that there are也articlesout there that show that mothers age MORE rapidly after childbirth,both on the literal cellular level and the metaphorical experiential level.
再一次，我不是科学家，但我真的相信即使有一个孩子时代someone precipitously.因为不管你喜欢与否，after you have that kid,your life turns completely upside down.You are no longer the protagonist of your own life.That sounds dramatic,and self-effacing,and not a little depressing,but it's true: The focus of your life irrevocably shifts when you become a parent.
And being a parent is very different than being a partner — because,大概，all going well,your partner is not going to suck the very marrow out of your energy-and-soul bones like a kid will.And I mean that in the nicest possible way.After all,your spouse is (in this country,anyway) an adult — and not someone for whom you need to be parent.
生一个小孩在身体上和实际上都很费劲：如果你不是一个擦、拖、喂的人，then you've got to arrange for someone else to do it.Either way,it's gotta get done,24/7.And then,as your kids get bigger,这个wiping may stop-但是，even in the best case scenario of a healthy and independent child,你担心他们会做出最好的选择，做好人，and not doing careless things like getting into cars driven by inebriated friends.那种担心是密密麻麻的，又厚又丑。
I don't plan on getting Botox,and I can never remember to put on a serum before I go to bed (because I am so freaking exhausted,obviously).But I have decided that aging (even precipitously) is a price I will happily pay for all this love that these kids bring in my life.这些孩子让我精疲力竭——这也是我报名的原因之一。And I'm saying that not to be Martyr Mom,but rather,as a simple acknowledgement that this养育事情是可靠的，unrelentingly hard — and as they age,it becomes harder in different ways than you'd expect.And that's OK.
因为，consider this: By the time you hit your 40s,你会发现不是所有的同龄人都能享受到50岁的生活特权。And then you can remember that age — and with it,衰老是一种礼物。
嘿，回到科学研究上来。While it could possibly,awesomely be true that,thanks to my copious amount of offspring,my cells may not be aging,there是缺点：显然，我有70%的可能性痴呆症later in life.叹息。
