“萨利，我甚至不知道支票簿在哪里，“莎莉·卡普兰回忆起她父亲心脏病发作后母亲所说的话。
几乎1200万美国人埋葬了一个父母每年。而且，根据A2017年调查，超过50%的美国成年人没有意愿，在美国只有53%的成年人享受医疗保健power of attorney.
这就是为什么曼哈顿的马琳·迈尔森JCC创造了一个创新，提前护理计划倡议What Matters: Caring Conversations About End of Life，aimed at helping the Jewish community understand the importance of planning for the inevitable.
Planning ahead aligns with one of the primary tenets of Judaism,卡普兰说：“当你走这条路的时候，you are honoring life by setting up a system and being responsible for others."
It is important to begin these conversations while your parents are in good health so that you can ensure that your parent's wishes are known and respected.对父母的愿望有一个清晰的理解也可以帮助你防止的负罪感,很遗憾，or uncertaintyif you are required to make healthcare decisions on their behalf.
Here are six things you should encourage your parents to consider as part of their end of life care planning.
1.Will
每个人都喜欢认为他们的家庭不会为他们父母留下的东西而斗争，比如投资，传家宝，房地产——但现实有时也不一样。You can help avoid this possibility through a will.A will,which includes financial as well as personal assets,确保父母的财产按他们想要的方式分配。在写遗嘱之前，鼓励你的父母和他们的财务顾问或律师交谈，然后至少每年更新一次（或者如果生活发生重大变化，比如继承人的死亡）。他们也可以使用类似的在线程序 LegalZoom创建文档。
2。可撤销的终身信托
This legal entity covers your parents while they're alive.It provides a financial structure if they become mentally incapacitated,typically by assigning another family member the task of paying bills and handling monetary issues if your parents become unable.信托还记录了死亡后资产应该发生什么。
创造一个活的信任,your parents should include the names of all people and organizations who may be beneficiaries;who is responsible for managing the trust;how your parents want the assets to be distributed;以及资产的价值和描述。
The advantage of having a living trust?Trust assets don't need to go through遗嘱检验并且可以快速分发。Trusts may also have cost-saving benefits when it comes to attorney fees,税，以及债权人。你的父母应该和他们的律师谈谈，看看信托是否有意义。
3.高级医疗指导
此文档使您的父母临终关怀的愿望已知的。它指导家庭和医疗专业人员在父母受伤时采取首选的治疗方法，incapacitated,或处于植物人状态。主题应包括：何时使用复苏方法（CPR，defibrillation,and certain medications);呼吸机使用；以及人工营养和水化（试管喂养和静脉注射使用）。
4。委托书/医疗代理
这些重要文件允许你或其他家庭成员为你的父母做决定，如果需要的话。授权委托书指定某人作出财务决定，while a healthcare proxy designates a person to make medical ones.一个人可以同时扮演两个角色，or they can be split.
5。重要信息
Sit down with your parents and go over their insurance,burial instructions,cemetery plot locations,银行和经纪账户，safety deposit box information,以及重要钥匙的位置。计算机，电话，必须共享联机帐户密码，以及他们的医生的姓名和电话号码，律师，等等。用这些信息创建一个单独的文档将避免在父级传递后混乱地查找它。另一个选择是：像这样的网站无纸化 每个计划，一站式门户，提供广泛的检查清单，以及用于文档和信息的云存储。
6.Ethical Will
一个人的价值观和信仰的书面遗产，可以传给后代，道德意志是你父母描述道德的地方，个人故事，expectations,and blessings for their families.
“道德意志是思想宝库，希望，and dreams," says Rabbi Abigail Treu,director of the Center for Jewish Living at the JCC.纪念馆 救生员，与犹太伦理意愿项目合作，提供一个可写的联机空间 道德意志.鼓励你的父母以这种方式讲述他们的故事和根深蒂固的信仰。
为自己的死亡做计划，或者和爱人谈论他们的临终愿望并不容易。幸运的是，有一个网上资源丰富帮助你开始。
To learn more,退房A Good End播客或访问My Jewish Learning—部分70面媒体家庭。
