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Why Choosing Love Didn't Mean Choosing Conversion for Me

一对年轻夫妇在城里的照片

虽然我在跨宗教婚姻中不是犹太人,my husband never put conversion on the table–not until I brought the question up on my own,我们结婚三年后。

Shortly after my husband and I first started dating,本带我到波士顿一个大型改革犹太教堂参加星期五晚上的青年党服务。在仪式开始的时候,一个带着吉他的吟唱者以无言的旋律引导着会众,当这项服务发展到目前还不熟悉的希伯来语短语时,我很感激他帮助我完成祈祷书,not all of which offered transliterations of the Hebrew.

之后,我们喝了一小杯摩尼教的酒,在一个酒杯里吃了一小块的迦拉。他激动地领着我走过那些闪闪发光的案子,唤起记忆的犹太教:门诺拉,凯迪什杯,haggadot with messages such as the feminist haggadot or "Haggadah for the Liberated Lamb" (a vegetarian Passover classic).之后,我们去泰国餐馆吃饭,手牵着桌子,谈论宗教。

转换那天晚上不在桌子上,当我们订婚的时候它甚至不在桌子上,然后结婚了。那天晚上桌上唯一真正的东西,从那以后的晚上,was our desire to choose each other,通过这样做,to choose love.

Five years after that first date,结婚三年了,though,I almost converted to Judaism.我参加了一个朋友的转化仪式,在她加入以色列人民的欢庆活动中,I found myself unexpectedly and profoundly moved by the experience.She converted in a Reconstructionist synagogue,为了与重建主义创始人的愿景保持一致,莫迪卡·卡普兰,of Judaism as a religious civilization,the congregation emphasized a joyful spiritual approach that offered no insult to the modern intellect.

When my friend stood on the bimah and received her Jewish name and held the Torah in her arms,my mind flashed forward to times when I'd seen babies dedicated in the synagogue,受到犹太人的欢迎。I realized,刹那间,抱着自己的孩子可能意味着什么,欢迎她加入犹太人,当我自己不是犹太人的时候。There,在那个房间里,希伯来人的祈祷声响彻全场,it seemed that perhaps the covenant could extend to me as well.

我回到家,买了关于转换的书,关于犹太仪式,about interfaith families.我听了YouTube上所有的祈祷,and wondered how long it would take to do formal morning and evening prayers.我自言自语地告诉她,imagining that my Jewish husband would look at me as if I were "going frum," a somewhat pejorative way of referring to becoming overly observant.

A few days before Valentine's Day,I couldn't keep my curiosity in any longer.我给本写了封信,解释,in convoluted,循环词,当时我对犹太教有多深的感情,也非常欣赏他的宗教。我在星期六的早餐时把信给了他,现在,我们手牵手之间的转换问题隐约可见,就在桌子上。He looked up at me with tears in his eyes.

那天下午,我们在家附近的山上徒步旅行,holding hands,对我们生活的世界的奇迹感到惊奇,想知道一个宗教上团结的家庭会是什么样子。

几周后,I found myself in New York on a Friday night,and decided to attend services at a historic synagogue on Fifth Avenue.我从来没有去过一个像大教堂一样的犹太教堂:高耸入云的天花板,镀金的墙壁上镶嵌着精美的马赛克,在后面,一个大卫的“玫瑰”窗口明星和一个非常令人印象深刻的风琴。专业合唱团,伴随着器官,sang the prayers,而穿着考究、穿着同样衣冠楚楚的会众则聆听着音乐之美的审美欣赏。我感到困惑,out of place,wondering what had happened to that initial inspiration.

最后,可以说,这是“信仰危机”,lasted for a few months.I talked with my friend who had converted,with other friends,with my parents.All were ios下载beplaysupportive,but cautious,不想让我把一时的灵感和为自己和我丈夫做出正确的选择混为一谈。

I found myself coming back to several facts from which I couldn't escape: Unlike some converts to Judaism,including my friend,我不(据我所知)在我家谱上不太知名的树枝上有犹太亲戚,除了我丈夫的家人。此外,although I appreciate Jewish religion and culture,我对宗教文化的理解,if I'm honest with myself,were shaped in the liberal,我成长的礼拜教堂。

这不是一个简单的选择,mind you.我在如何选择爱我的配偶(最终,God willing,our children),选择宗教,对自己诚实。我曾经为一个重要的人做过宗教选择有一次我开始后悔的选择-最后,不愿意再这样做,no matter how well-intentioned a similar choice might have been,这一次。

在整个过程中,我的犹太配偶坚定地站在我身边,choosing to love me every day,even if that meant we would remain an interfaith family.We knew,最后,正如我们克图巴上的话所暗示的,that we could choose love by letting each other be ourselves.

这个文章最初出现在www.InterfaithFamily.com并经许可转载。更多为跨宗教家庭探索犹太生活而设计的资源,visit www.InterfaithFamily.com.

The opinions expressed here are the personal views of the author.评论被缓和,所以用你内心的声音,keep your hands to yourself,and no,我们对草药补充剂不感兴趣。
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