This was going to be the most Instagrammable bar mitzvah ever.
为了纪念我的儿子，森美的过渡，从男孩到男人，我们很高兴能有朋友和家人从世界各地聚集在Kotelin Jerusalem. I wanted him to cherish the moment, and take in the bigness of marking such a significant rite of passage at such a holy site.
除了Torahreading, we had planned a parade — including dancers and musicians — to take us from a communal breakfast to a site at the Wall; upon completion of the ceremony we planned to release a flight of doves. Yes, some might say these extras were over-the-top and unnecessary, but they are rich in the color that is Sammy. Truth be told, he needed no extras in order to shine on this special day.
但不幸的是，由于传播新冠病毒, it looks like this memorable journey to Jewish manhood — scheduled for April 6 — will have to wait.
And we are being patient because this pandemic is devastating. We understand the magnitude and the ravage it has done全球, and the pain and suffering many families are feeling is heartbreaking. But our family continues to push through, trying to focus on all that we have, trying not to worry about what will happen next — but it’s difficult.
Besides the bar mitzvah, nearly everything has been either cancelled or postponed in the San Francisco Bay Area, where we live. Sammy had made a film with a couple of friends, and it was accepted in a local film festival, but yesterday it was cancelled. An overnight trip this weekend to participate in the Model United Nations conference in the California Central Valley was also cancelled — another blow to a kid who aspired to learn about collaboration from a global perspective. Yes, we recognize that these sacrifices seem small compared to the suffering families are feeling, but for a soon-to-be teenager, it feels like the hits keep on coming.
Thebar mitzvah似乎是最新加入到失望的链 - 尤其是因为我们希望和超越了Sammy的大日子。我渴望成为一个勇于创新，充满激情的爸爸为我提出一个惊人的年轻人。作为一个同性恋爸爸，我认识很久以前，很少有榜样，甚至更少的脚本翻转。所以，当它来到的时间来计划Sammy的成年礼，我们真的专注于制造回忆。具有服务和当事人只是没有吸引萨米的想法 - 但为什么呢？这是普通的。他不平凡。我们不喜欢普通的，我们不这样做平凡。
So, instead of a traditional service and a party, what Sammy really wanted was QT with his extended family. As an only child, his connection with his Israeli cousins is more akin to siblings rather than long-distance relatives — and, with two of these cousins currently serving in theIDF，很明显的是，成年礼会发生在以色列，太。
Planning a bar mitzvah in Israel is not easy, but that’s an entirely different story. Needless to say, coordinating four continents of friends and family is a herculean task that I felt was worth the undertaking. Sammy and I havebeen to Israelseveral times and it’s always fun, relaxing, and memorable. It’s a place that was never home to me but always felt very comfortable. Similar to an old friend from elementary school who you do not see for 20 years but have no trouble finding that lifelong bond.
自私地，我也很喜欢这个想法，在以色列有Sammy的成年礼将促进自己连接到该国 - 这将是他成为一个男人，和他的家人庆祝他和了不起的人，他已经成为了地方。
Over the past 13 months, we spent a considerable amount of time (and money) arranging all the details. Sammy has been working with my father, a rabbi, on theTorah portion; my Israeli brother-in-law made a recording of it so he can also practice on his own as well. We arranged for a cantor-slash-rabbi to lead a ceremony at the Kotel; we arranged transportation for the big day for our party of 35. All the extras were arranged, too, including the musicians for the“celebratory parade” as we walked to the Wall, the doves to be released, a photographer to capture it all. We were well on our way to making lifelong memories.
但是，我们在这里 - 三个个星期内，并没有办法由于冠状病毒的传播，以色列。essentially closed. As it stands now, all foreign visitors need to be隔离在抵达以色列后14天 - 而这仅仅是不可行的，我们或我们的客人。
当然，我们非常失望的是，这个特殊的日子就不会发生了，我不知道我们能只是“重新安排”或在另一个日期重新创建它。老实说，我不知道我们将做些什么。我们在我爸，拉比，可以主持一个小仪式接近我们家幸运，我们可能可能规划一个庆祝一个将来的日期。
The silver lining in all this is that Sammy gets it — he understands that this is not as we planned, but part of being a man is being able toadjust to unexpected situationsand put things into perspective. If I’ve done my job right, as a dad, we will all get through this just fine — and fortunately, so far, it seems that I have.
由于我还没有100％的接受失败，我曾与许多取消挡住。我没有得到在制作的Airbnb我们订了退款 - 取消的决定是在主机和我之间的相互 - ，到目前为止，有几个客人都已经取消了，感觉行程是不是对他们的健康或安全，由于关于被关注隔离14天。而且即使我的头告诉我，取消 - 或者，至少，推迟 - 几乎是一定的，我的心脏仍然希望出现奇迹。
Header image courtesy of Jon Raj
