Every Friday night, 18 minutes before the sun sets, observant Jews around the world power down our phones, choose a few lights to keep on for the next 25 hours, and say a祝福蜡烛to bring in Shabbat, the Jewish day of rest.
我珍惜沙巴特through my high school and college years — it gave me time to sleep, read, and relax with no schoolwork or distractions. It was hard to be off my phone, but mostly Shabbat was calm and rejuvenating.
When I first got married,沙巴特was a pleasure, too. I’d have quality time with my husband and we’d host our own guests. I’d sleep in and then meet him at shul. We’d walk home together for lunch and spend the afternoon eating, sleeping, reading, and walking through Central Park.
然后我们有孩子。他们中的两个实际上，在两年内。突然，沙巴开始感觉不像休息一天，更像是一天的压力。
No matter what day of the week it is, our kids — now 2 and 4 — wake us up at黎明的裂缝。他们需要持续注意，整天 - 随着我的家人在安息日上使用电力，我们没有技术帮助我们出去。这是最好的时候，但在大流行期间，有两个烧毁的父母，它可以感到彻头彻尾的痛苦。
I’ve always struggled with spending the entire day with my children, with no time or space for quiet and rest. And now that they’re backin schoolall day during the week, I feel guilty that I’m not cherishing this time with them. But after having them at home all day, every day, for months on end — without breaks and no end in sight — being home with them all day on Shabbat each week brings up unhappy,anxious feelingsof being stuck.
尽管如此，安息日仍然达到每周抵达。随着大流行慢慢地开始后退，我已经开始找到了让安息日感觉不那么税收的小事，更易于易于易于扫描。我希望这些提示也能帮助你。
1. Set reasonable expectations
我最大的一步是弄清楚如何与幼儿接受安息日，因为它是什么。这几天，我不可能在晚些时候睡觉或读书。很长一段时间，我试图通过试图在床上留在床上或偷偷摸摸一本书，而我的丈夫倾向于孩子们。但这从未如计划，留下了我们烦恼的。
然而，通过我们目前的现实来说，真正帮助了。一旦我放手，我如何想到沙巴特shouldbe — i.e., long, lazy afternoons — I was able to think clearly on what my family’s Shabbat可以是。例如,即使我可以不再spend the afternoon reading novels, I can use Saturday mornings to share my喜欢故事with my daughters and read picture books with them.
星期五是为了自我照顾
我的孩子参加了一个Jewish preschool并在星期五提前解雇。我意识到艰难的方式，如果我在狭窄的四个小时内克拉太多，他们在学校里，我就会开始周末感到沮丧。
Instead, I’ve started using Fridays tofill my cup尽可能多地回家之前。作为兼职自由作家，我决定不在星期五工作。相反，我使用当天来计划下周，在线订购杂货，并在不匆忙的情况下准备安息日的食物。我一定要把锻炼和停机时间放入我的时间表中。
我知道这个时间表对全职工作的人来说是不可行的，但我们都需要在某些时候停机。在本周期间的一些计划尤其重要，如果您无法在周末妥善放松。
3.轻松用餐
I love preparing big, beautiful沙巴特meals。At this stage in our lives, however, I prioritize conserving my energy. These days, I spend part of my low-stress Fridays preparing simple Shabbat meals. On Friday nights we’ll usually have soup, challah, dips, and maybe a salad or some chicken. On Saturday, we’ll have challah, dips, and egg salad for lunch and leftovers for dinner. My family rarely eats takeout, but if we did, I wouldn’t hesitate to order in for Shabbat to make my life even easier. What matters most is the time we spend together, not whether we’re eating homemade chicken soup or pizza.
4.坚持睡前的例行
当我们让我们的女孩熬夜时沙巴特dinner, they become tired and act out — and it’s no fun for anyone. So, even on Friday nights, we serve them dinner and put them to bed at their usual time. Sometimes that’s before candle lighting, sometimes it’s after, depending on the time of year.
无论如何，我的丈夫和我等到他们睡着了kiddush.andhamotzei。我知道有些家庭真正喜欢让孩子们参与星期五晚上的安息日仪式，但现在，这是为我们工作的。我们的孩子们在一贯的时间表中做得更好，我的丈夫有一些特别的东西，我享受着一个宁静的沙巴饭，只是我们两个人。
5. Spend time outside
我们最受欢迎的大流行消遣已成为拍摄family walks而且，在安息日，我们尽可能多地去。当天气好的时候，我们在外面的大部分时间都花在我们的后院或公园。即使在寒冷的冬天日，我们也会捆绑并散步两三次。
新鲜空气对于我们所有人来说都是好的 - 在外面已经证明了elevate your moodand boost your health. Plus, these walks tucker out our kids so they’re more likely to go to sleep at their usual time on Saturday night. Lastly, after some undivided attention during a walk, they’re also more likely to play independently when we arrive home.
6. Encourage independent play
我们的女孩通常不会主动才能自行玩，但如果我们走向我们的地下室游戏室并用玩具或活动设置它们，我们可以溜走，他们会一起玩一点漂亮。无论我们是否得到两分钟的安静，这就像一个款待。
我们还玩餐厅游戏，我的丈夫和我坐在沙发上，我们将食物订单给我们的孩子，他们在他们的厨房里“准备”菜肴。这让他们占用了一段时间，将游戏食物带到楼梯上。有时我们运气，他们分心，最终又一次玩了一下！
The secret to our success here is that we do not attempt to do anything else while they play; we just sit and chat. If we try to eat a snack, I swear they can smell it from the basement and they come running to get a bite. If we take out a deck of cards, they immediately join us and mess up our game. My advice: Do nothing, so that there is nothing fun and exciting for them to interrupt.
7. Play with them
Yes, this tip seems obvious, but playing on the floor withour kidsis not something either my husband or I particularly enjoy. Still, I find that trying to get into it helps pass the time and we don’t need to play for hours on end. If our attention is really undivided, 5 or 10 minutes goes a very long way and they often move on to playing with each other, so we can sneak away for some quiet.
我们还鼓励他们以我们享受的方式发挥，就像在地下室绕过足球一样。
8. Tag-team childcare
The nice thing about weekends is that my husband and I are both around, so we prefer to spend time togetheras a family。但如果我们其中一个人在他们的绳子的尽头，另一个人会带孩子，给父母休息休息。或者，我们将划分和征服;我们每个人都玩一个孩子一对一。它与漫长的休息并不一样，但整天这些小休息都会产生很大的差异。
9.获得帮助
I realize that this isn’t an option for everyone, but two to three hours of help midday has been a game changer for us. At first, it felt unnecessary to get help when my husband and I are both around, but now we consider it essential. Sometimes my kids go to我妈妈的房子and other times we hire a babysitter.
几个小时的安静在中间长，响亮的一天是光荣的。我们可以休闲或阅读或读或去我们安静的步行，或者只是吃午饭in peace, just the two of us. It almost feels like the Shabbats of our newlywed days. Almost.
No matter what we do, I don’t think I’ll ever adore Shabbat with young kids. And that’s OK! I keep reminding myself that this is just a season. Soon my girls will be青少年，睡觉到中午，我可能会发现自己在房子里的时候想念他们。或者，我可以在和他们一起闲逛。
Hey, busy parents! Want to learn more about finding meaning in Shabbat with young kids at home? Check outKvel苹果beplayler Shabbat指南！！
Header image via Malte Mueller/Getty Images
