我们最初选择我办公室附近的一所幼儿园是出于实际原因——那里有操场、窗户和烹饪课，不像我们家附近的小家伙，我无法在关门时间到达那里，anyway. We were thrilled about the school,但我对通勤并不怎么感兴趣:两条地铁和八个街区每一个的方式。这是一段只花了我45分钟的旅程，但如果我和我2岁的孩子在一起的话，可能会延长到一个小时甚至更长。我浏览Pinterest,寻找游戏的创意，忙碌的包，以及像疯狂的玛丽波平斯(Mary Poppins)那样储存钱包的方法。
几次旅行后，我很快意识到我带的东西越少，越好,我们选了一本小书和一辆火柴盒车，我儿子在天气好的时候会在地铁的墙上开车，and across my face on the bad days. He "sits" on my lap on the crowded train,这更像是把我当作人类的攀爬架，with his face inches from mine for most of the trip. We laugh and play and I get plenty of kisses,但对于一个蹒跚学步的孩子来说，有时他最喜欢的活动包括抢我的眼镜，并试图把它们扔到地铁车厢，哭是因为我不会让他一个人站着抓住柱子。
当我同时应付两个鼓鼓囊囊的包时，挑战就更难应付了。我们的冬天的外套,一个婴儿载体,零食,下午6点还有一瓶水。when I'm sharing a train with half of Manhattan who would rather be anywhere else. My husband and I try to avoid yelling and indiscriminate "no's." We're the crazy people who actually believe in reasoning with a toddler,它经常奏效。但当我们筋疲力尽时，或者第十次被戳眼睛，或者让一个过度疲劳的疯子扯掉我们一半的头发，it's hard to not respond in kind. On the subway,不过,情况就不同了。当我们和10个人的距离还不到一臂的时候，所有人都在看着我的孩子因为他们没有更好的事情可做，这就像在公共舞台上养育子女。
我觉得这是一个肮脏的秘密，但是做父母I要容易得多想要to be while everyone is watching. I have more patience when the businessman standing in front of us is listening to my every word. I can be gentler when I think back on how the grandmotherly woman next to me complimented my son's smile just seconds before his latest attempts to rip off my necklace. I listen to what I'm saying to him with the critical ear of a stranger,多做眼神交流，and do a better job of picking my battles. Of course,当没有人提醒我的时候，我觉得我的儿子很好，但被反复告知他表现得很好，是一个很好的倾听者，让困难的时刻更容易处理。
我听朋友和网络上的陌生人说，他们害怕带孩子去杂货店，或目标,或者在飞机上，如果孩子大发脾气，让周围的非幼儿父母目瞪口呆，clacking their tongues and shaking their heads. But what I've learned from the hours on the subway with my son is that public parenting isn't anything to be afraid of—it's the best rehearsal for the parenting you want to do when no one is looking.
