Every year on July 11, 7-11 offers free Slurpees. And every year, I take my kids to get some. This year, since we were staying in布莱顿海滩每年的收购需要我13岁、8岁和5岁的孩子在正午的酷暑中各走半个小时，穿过一条高速公路地下通道，穿过一个模模糊糊的街区——然后回来，所有这些都是为了一杯免费的碎冰、糖和水。
It was at this point it occurred to me that my lifelong, complicated relationship with钱可能需要重新评估一下。
Because it’s not just free Slurpees that make me do crazy things. I also have marked on my calendar National Free Doughnut Day, Ben & Jerry’s Free Scoop Day, and Haagen-Dazs’s, too. I know every free movie screening in New York City, the best public library theater, art and science programs for kids, which museums are truly pay what you wish (MET) and which ones will pretend they don’t know what you’re talking about (MoMA).
But, that’s not all. At one point a few years ago, I looked at my youngest child and realized the only item she was currently wearing that could honestly be said to belong to her was her diaper. Everything else, from coat to shirt to pants to shoes to socks, was a hand-me-down. (And, keep in mind, she’s the little sister of two brothers.) I hunt thrift shops and Salvation Army stores for bargains–for the kids, that is. For myself, I have literally not bought a new item of clothing or shoes since 2007. (In fact, my oldest son and I share a pair of winter boots–which I got free when I worked the 1998Olympics–因为我们目前的尺寸相同。）
In lieu of a hair stylist, I have my mother take a pair of kitchen shears to my bangs every few months.晚餐这取决于那一周有什么东西打折，我把剩菜打包给孩子们吃午饭。如果午餐和他们一起去学校，我会把塑料袋洗干净，然后再使用。而这些袋子本身也已经是重复使用的面包包装纸了。我们也知道从重新利用酸奶容器中饮用。
We dilute one bottle of dishwashing liquid into several. I rip paper napkins in half to make them last longer. We use toilet paper instead of tissues for runny noses. My youngest kidstake baths together和then the rest of us just add more hot water for our turns.
We don’t own a car (and if it’s less than 40 blocks away, we walk to save subway fare) or have cable or a video-gaming system. All the buttons have fallen off our one TV, and it now can only be turned on by remote control–which is bound together with masking tape and the numbers have been rubbed off to the point where I had to redraw them with White-Out. I have been led to believe that I am the last person in America without acell phone.
It has also been suggested that this might be a problem.
I have taken the suggestion under consideration. (Especially post the 7-11 incident.)
我很便宜。我知道这个。我接受它。我觉得很舒服。
也许是因为我在人生的头七年都被塞进了一个苏联公共公寓房间比布隆伯格市长最近颁布的法令要小，是一个人可以接受的最小空间（我和父母都住在里面）。所以我知道很多人认为生存必须做的事情…其实不是。我和我丈夫现在拥有的比我们生来就拥有的多得多，我们只是认为自己非常幸运和感激，我们在每一个转折点上都向孩子强调这一点。（我最大的儿子）俄罗斯之行在这方面真的很有帮助。）
Or maybe it’s because, when my family first came to the United States, we didn’t have a small amount of money, or a minimal amount of money,我们没有钱. And I am terrified of ever going back to that place again.
也许是因为我是个控制狂，喜欢像这样剥夺自己海蒂·格林他是个有名的吝啬鬼，身价数百万，却住在一间没有暖气的房间里，只靠燕麦片过活。（说实话，我身价不高，也不喜欢燕麦片。不过，我确实喜欢一间凉爽宜人的房间。）
也许是因为我不知道谁是邻居，也不知道为什么我要关心跟上他们。
Or maybe it’s because I’m a mean mommy who doesn’t want her kids to have any fun.
We live in New York City. That means that, between学校和寺庙和other extra-curricular activities, my sons and daughter have friends who have their own rooms (mine share), who live in pent-houses and private mansions, who have chauffeurs–and jets.
当我的孩子们想知道为什么某某的生活方式和我们的生活方式不同时，我回答说，“因为他们的家庭对职业和优先事项做了一系列的选择。这没什么错。爸爸和我选择做我们喜欢的工作，但报酬不高。这也没什么问题。如果你长大后想做出与我们不同的决定，那就由你来决定。”
I do worry if I’ve gone too far on occasions like earlier this summer, when, after receiving a Disney gift card for covering an event, I took my kids to their store in Times Square and told them they could pick anything they wanted.
“有什么事吗？“每当我女儿发现一件新东西时，她总是胆怯地回头瞥一眼。“你不想先看看要多少钱吗？”
（有趣的是，即使给我自由支配的权利，我的孩子们也无法想出足够的东西来最大限度地利用这张卡！）
我知道比分。任何事情过多，甚至节俭，都可能是坏事。它会导致神经症和困扰，接下来你会意识到，你会被从旧报纸下面挖出来，看一集非常特别的电影Hoarders. (I don’t save newspapers. Because I don’t buy them. I do get the free ones. After reading, they can be used for a variety of art projects, including make-shift paint brushes!)
还有一句老话：犹太人很吝啬。犹太人很便宜。
“Some are,” I tell my kids. “Some aren’t.” And then we talk about why, historically, those libels were started in the first place.
Am I passing on my twisted relationship with money to them? I have absolutely no doubt that I am.
从长远来看，这会伤害或帮助他们吗？我不知道。
All I can cling to is the hope that everything will work out, based on what my 8-year-old told me after he finished reading鲁滨逊漂流记.
“You know, Mommy, I was thinking: Robinson Crusoe didn’t have everything he wanted on his island. But, he had everything he needed. So it was okay.”
